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This is revolting. I have seen all sorts of things. I do not go on line in order to read or view this stuff. If you could see the things which we regularly contend(ed) with spontaneously, you'd possibly be traumatized. It is sometimes the stuff of nightmares.

It is often just another day at the office. It is highly impactful. It is not what I originally signed up for. We do what we must and over the years I was frequently horrified.

One stab into a Ventricle or Atrium can change the World. I often wondered about just who was the person who got away with this battery. One day I learned just what a human heart looks like when there is no blood in it. The same day. I saw human lungs completely void of Oxygen or blood. It was one of my worst experiences ever in the Trauma Center.

For what it is worth, a heart is a very ugly piece of meat or muscle when there is no circulation, ugly and grayish, not at all like the pictures. The lungs are brownish in color. Nobody ever told me that before. I had to see it for myself.

Perhaps I should have gone into homicide investigations. I was so disturbed by things that I sometimes saw. I felt so very powerless. It was odd seeing these young Physicians going through such absurd motions on a young murder victim. Sure, it was a teaching hospital, but I received no premium from viewing certain things. The Patients were often quite dead, but nobody would declare it so until after the maneuvers were performed. To me me it was often seriously some dark shit.

I did not want to do it anymore, but I continued, for a while.