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Who needs less recoil than a 9mm Lugar?

I'm fine with my Sig P365 XL w RomeoZero. (12 and 15 rd. mags)

As for Home Defense ammo: Inceptor ARX 9MM Self Defense 65gr +P

My wife has a first run P365XL. She thought it would be an upgrade from the P365. It was disappointing. When performing the trigger reset test, the slide was locked up. She had multiple instances where the slide failed to return to battery. We usually take a bucket of 115 gr Remington 9mm to the range. Sig makes ammo specifically for the 365. I'm not certain if that would make a difference.

18 months after my wife purchased her P365XL, I added one with the optics kit to my stash. I haven't mounted the red dot yet, but initial checkout seems to indicate the problems with the early releases is resolved. The red dot on the M&P 2.0 9mm fixed my vertical stringing due to my progressive lenses. Overall, I think my P365XL will be a keeper.