Posted on 11/26/2021 11:27:48 AM PST by Trillian
Friday Silliness Ping!
The hardest thing for a woman to do is act naive on the first night of her second marriage.
I heard that joke when I was a kid in the 70s. It took me years to get it.
You can say what you want about Florida, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in “The Villages’” Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don’t have a sense of humor?
Foxy Lady
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4’ (used to be 5’6’). Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
Ling Term Commitment
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband. Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
Serenity Now
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
Winning Smile
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
Beatles or Stones?
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
Memories
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.
Mint Condition
Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
“I am proud to be a Black man!” said the Black man.
“I am proud to be an Asian man!” said the Asian man.
“I am proud to be a white man!” said the racist.
Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up, kiss the person next to you and are just thankful to be alive? I just did... and I don’t think they’ll let me fly on that airline again.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Bill and his wife Blanche went to the state fair every year,
And every year Bill would say,
” Blanche, I’d like to ride in that helicopter “
Blanche always replied,
” I know, Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! “
One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
” Blanche, I’m 75 years old.
If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance “
To this, Blanche replied,
” Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks “
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
” Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars. “
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
” By golly , I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.
I’m impressed! “
Bill replied,
” Well, to tell you the truth
I almost said something when Blanche fell out,
But you know,
Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! “
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
vA lawyer was driving to his suburban home in his fancy car, when he sees a man in a field along the road, eating grass.
He stops the car, gets out and asks the man why he is eating grass.The man replies “I am poor, and have no money for food”.
The lawyer says, hmmm, hop in the car. We are going to my house.
The poor man then points to several people just a bit further in the field and says “but I have my wife and children there”.
The lawyer then says “great, let’s take everybody. The grass in my yard is two feet high!”
LOL! (That’s just wrong.)
My niece is a police officer on Florida and thinking of retiring to Montana.
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