The Planner and the Purloiner.

[Mrs. Warrior]

The Planner and the Purloiner.

I love to plan family events and this year for thanksgiving I almost had my best laid plans purloined! I was in Walmart trying to purchase a smoked ham and so I asked an employee where they were. She began guiding me to the open freezer where they were displayed. She stated “there is one left, I think”.

Oh my! I thought, and so I put my scooter on rabbit speed and raced ahead! On the way and almost there I saw a man hurrying towards the freezer too. Oh no! I used my scooter to block him off and jumped off my scooter. But the man was almost around my scooter and getting closer! There was nothing left to do so I dived into the freezer! I put my hands on the ham but it was heavier than I could lift. Suddenly the man put his hand on my ham and exclaimed “if I get it to the register first it's mine”. I retorted “that is a good point, but here, let me make mine”. “The inflation is causing desperation and the supply chain is jerked taught don't you know?” I took Grandma's antique brooch off my dress and said “look here you pork purloiner” and I jabbed him on the hand, “ pick some other pig to pick on”. “ This planner is going to have her ham on a platter”.

My cell phone rang and my husband asked where I was? “Stuck in a freezer!” “Why are you in the freezer” he asked? “Just being a good Grandma”. My grandchildren love ham and I knew my Grandmother, who had gumption, would have been proud to know her brooch brought me help from a pig! My husband arrived and I told him I needed help getting out so he started to pull on my arms, but I said “not me the pig”!

In the winter I turn on Tiffany colored glass lamps to give the house more warm cozy light. My husband, the engineer , wired the new sections of the farm house and always tells me not to overload the circuits.

I wanted to read my stories to family members at dinner recently. I had a pretty maroon tablecloth and when I turned on a red glass antique light there was apparently one to many connections and the lights went out! We heard a buzzing and my eldest granddaughter said it is a big fly! She took the cover of an heirloom porcelain butter dish and trapped the fly under it!

My husband cut down a hickory tree to smoke the turkey breast earlier in the day and when he brought the meat in it smelled so good! He put it down on the table but then we got the passing of the dishes mixed up. “Please pass me the turkey”. “It's gone already” . “Who invited the democrats?”

God has a good plan for mankind to give us a future and a hope. One man stole a television and dreamed of a nice dinner watching television and having his wife serve him dessert. But when he plugged it in there was no picture or sound. No signal, no cable! And there was nothing on the table and his girlfriend left him for someone more stable!

[mosaicwolf]

As they say, “Expectations are nothing more than deferred resentments.”