Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Home Security in Bidenville
email | September 28, 2021 | unknown

Posted on 09/28/2021 9:23:51 AM PDT by gattaca

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on EBAY anymore) and peeled the NRA sticker off my rear window.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard.

Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on EBAY) and ran it up the flagpole.

Now the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.

I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought a burka for me to wear when I shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can't pat me down.

If they say I'm a male wearing a burka, I just say I'm feeling like a woman today.

Hot Damn… Safe at last.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: humor
Someone send this to me. Pretty much sums things up.
1 posted on 09/28/2021 9:23:51 AM PDT by gattaca
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: gattaca

The goats in the backyard are probably in fear.


2 posted on 09/28/2021 9:26:29 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

What makes you think the Feds are not keeping track of houses with Rebel flags more than ISIS flags?


3 posted on 09/28/2021 9:27:18 AM PDT by alternatives? (The only reason to have an army is to defend your borders,)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

I saw a woman(I think it was a woman) in a burka yesterday. My first thought was where am I, downtown Baghdad?


4 posted on 09/28/2021 9:30:00 AM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

You didn’t need to do all of those things. You’re a FReeper. You’re already being watched.


5 posted on 09/28/2021 9:30:46 AM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Tell It Right
The goats in the backyard are probably in fear.

As long as they aren't walking "funny"
6 posted on 09/28/2021 9:31:35 AM PDT by Karma_Sherab
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: EvilCapitalist

What gets really scary is when the women in burkas start flirting with you...

Time to keep you head....because jealous boyfriend/husband is probably not far away....

;-)


7 posted on 09/28/2021 9:35:48 AM PDT by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: cgbg

No worries. I’d stay well away from the burka clad woman. Never know if she has a suicide vest on under that thing.


8 posted on 09/28/2021 9:37:44 AM PDT by EvilCapitalist (Pets are no substitute for children.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: EvilCapitalist
I saw a woman(I think it was a woman) in a burka yesterday. My first thought was where am I, downtown Baghdad?

I was driving through the Bronx recently. While stopped at a busy intersection, a swarm of East African women in colorful hijabs surrounded the cars selling fruit, drinks, newspapers.

Just like Mogadishu or Nairobi

9 posted on 09/28/2021 9:42:37 AM PDT by PGR88
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

That sums up life in Non-Trump America.


10 posted on 09/28/2021 9:42:51 AM PDT by I want the USA back (Dethrone the ruling elite. Redistribute their wealth. Take away their power. Annul their privileges.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: EvilCapitalist

Good point.


11 posted on 09/28/2021 9:48:19 AM PDT by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

Yes, FReepers and people with Rebel Flags or Trump Flags or such are being watched. The difference is when they are attacked the Fed will do nothing but help the attackers to be successful and evade prosecution. With the ISIS, BLM, Pak flags, the Feds will step in and protect you.


12 posted on 09/28/2021 9:54:26 AM PDT by rigelkentaurus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cgbg

Sounds like a joke, but that happened to me on the streets of Zhitomyr, UKR several years ago. Two women approached me and started talking to me, the local street merchants backed up into their stalls in a defensive measure, and some guys suddenly popped out of a parked vehicle a block away coming in our direction.

I began passing out Christian tracts and street preaching in a louder voice. For some unknown reason, the problem decided to stop being a problem and all of them went away.


13 posted on 09/28/2021 10:01:48 AM PDT by wbarmy (I chose to be a sheepdog once I saw what happens to the sheep.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: gattaca

This is a hoot. Forwarded to friends including a hopeless “let-em-all-in” Liberal. She does own an expensive house, so it might ring a bell. ,


14 posted on 09/28/2021 10:02:11 AM PDT by Veto! (Political Correctness Offends Me)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson