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C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this potus what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Biden...What’s,uh...What’s wrong with it?

C: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!

O: No, no, ‘e’s uh,..he’s resting.

C: Look, my lad, I know a dead potus when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.

O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable pol , the Norwegian Biden, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.

O: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!

C: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

‘Ello, potus Biden! I’ve got a lovely pudding cup for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

O: There, he moved!

C: No, he didn’t, that was you hitting the cage!

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) ‘ELLO JOEY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o’clock alarm call!

(Takes potus out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.

C: Now that’s what I call a dead potus.

O: No, no.....No, ‘e’s stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin’ up! Norwegian Bidens stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I’ve definitely ‘ad enough of this. That potus is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not ‘alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein’ tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

O: Well, he’s...he’s, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

C: PININ for the FJORDS!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got ‘im home?

O: The Norwegian Biden prefers kippin’ on it’s back! Remarkable pol, id’nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that pol when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o’course it was nailed there! If I hadn’t nailed that pol down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent ‘em apart with its leg hairs, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

C: “VOOM”?!? Mate, this pol wouldn’t “voom” if you put four million volts through it! ‘E’s bleedin’ demised!

O: No no! ‘E’s pining!

C: ‘E’s not pinin’! ‘E’s passed on! This potus is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker!

‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the perch ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies!
‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig!
‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-POTUS!!