That is very well said.
I think some parents get a little too emotionally wrapped up with their adult children. When my children became adults (well before this "pandemic" and woke culture nonsense), I was willing to let them go and focus on my wife and our upcoming retirement.
It was a little tougher on my wife to let go but she eventually saw the wisdom of my approach. We raised them. We did an excellent job. We have nothing to be ashamed of. Now it's time for them to live their lives as they see fit without any interference or lecturing from us. They are out on their own making their own living and making their own choices, bad or good.
That is how we have been able to salvage our relationship with them. We treat them with respect and we treat them as adults. We also avoid unnecessary confrontation.
Here is an example...
Early in the "pandemic", one of my sons had a birthday and his fiance was planning a party for him. We planned to attend (it would have been a three hour drive each way). When we accepted, the fiance texted "You WILL be wearing masks, correct?" In fairness to my son's fiance, that particular son was just as nutty about the masking up. For months, they would not leave the house without a mask, even if just walking the dog.
We did not respond directly to the text. A few days later, I texted her politely expressing our regrets. Something had come up and unfortunately we would be unable to attend the party. So sorry. We will be sure to call and send a card though.
She got the message. We saw them several times after that and masks were never mentioned again. We never brought it up either. Why make a confrontation about it when it is not necessary?
Good advice. Your grown children probably respect you in return.
Excellent way to handle what could be a train wreck.
Well said.....Same here
That is a wise response. One thing I discovered about my son while he was at college was that he was sick and tired of talking about politics all the time. He got in-the-face lefty lectures at school and in classes and at home during breaks. He won’t talk politics to this day. He’s still mostly conservative but he’s making his won choices now as a 25 yo going to PA school. He’s taken the vaccine which my husband and I are adamantly against. But again he makes his own decisions. What good does it do to belittle someone’s choices or decisions. Like my mom always said even a bad family visit is still good because the ties are what matters. I’m grateful when my son visits. But like some of you posters I’m trying to distance myself somewhat so that he can be his own man even if I don’t necessarily see eye to eye with him on everything. I loved being his mom. I can’t ever turn my back on him even if he were to do that to me which he hasn’t but who knows? One day he might have to make a choice like children in countries have done that are fascistic or communist. I don’t know what the future will bring but I pray for my son every day without fail. I pray for the whole world which is being held in Satan’s sway. God will sort everything at the end.