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BLM Changes Name To 'Black And Brown Lives Matter Unless They Are Being Oppressed By Communists' (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | July 15, 2021 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/16/2021 10:34:58 AM PDT by gattaca

U.S.—After coming out against the Cuban protesters who are fighting for their liberties against the oppressive Communist government, BLM has been forced to change its name for clarity's sake. Black Lives Matter will now be known as Black And Brown Lives Matter Unless They Are Being Oppressed By Communists, a "much more accurate, descriptive title," according to the organization. The name is abbreviated as BABLMUTABOBC, pronounced, "Babblemute-a-bobk."

"People were getting the wrong idea from our name all the time," said one of BLM's founders as she sipped on liquid gold in the hot tub outside one of her homes. "They were thinking that we actually cared about oppressed minorities around the globe. That's only partially true: we care about minorities oppressed under capitalism. The ones who are being kidnapped, killed, tortured and starved to death by the communists? Not so much. We are, after all, a Marxist organization through and through, and to admit that communists are way worse than capitalists when it comes to oppressing minorities would mean the jig would be up and we'd stop raising so much money."

"I mean, uh, we'd stop being able to help black people or whatever." She then cut off the interview and pressed a button that caused her hot tub to transform into a hot tub helicopter, which took off and flew to one of her other homes.

Other proposed names included Black Lives Matter As Long As They Help Us Buy More Houses, Black Lives Matter Only After They've Made It Out Of The Womb, and Black Lives Matter Every Four Years When We Need Their Votes.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 07/16/2021 10:34:58 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: gattaca

2 posted on 07/16/2021 10:41:14 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: gattaca
Black Lives Matter Every Four Years When We Need Their Votes.

Swap out the 2 first words and that name could be used by just about every political candidate.

3 posted on 07/16/2021 10:42:05 AM PDT by Bernard (The very best scientific articles always contain this phrase: “My personal intuition has been…”)
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To: BBQToadRibs2

Mr. B.T. Washington nailed it 100 years before BLM.


4 posted on 07/16/2021 10:42:40 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: gattaca

“...or shot by other Blacks....”


5 posted on 07/16/2021 10:45:52 AM PDT by G Larry (Force the Universities to use their TAX FREE ENDOWMENTS to pay off Student loan debt!!!)
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To: gattaca

“...or shot by other Blacks....”


6 posted on 07/16/2021 10:45:52 AM PDT by G Larry (Force the Universities to use their TAX FREE ENDOWMENTS to pay off Student loan debt!!!)
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To: gattaca

Just call them Belligerent Loud Morons. Which is what they actually are.


7 posted on 07/16/2021 10:54:45 AM PDT by Mr. Rabbit
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To: gattaca

shouldn’t it be African American lives matter? or People Color Lives matter?

Guess they gave up on those stupid names


8 posted on 07/16/2021 10:57:58 AM PDT by TexasFreeper2009
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To: gattaca

I saw BLM’s statement on Cuba. I don’t think the public knows how much Fidel hated blacks and gays, and BLM is taking advantage of it.

They’re the ones who claim, “black trans lives matter.”


9 posted on 07/16/2021 12:03:00 PM PDT by Tacrolimus1mg (Do no harm, but take no sh!t.)
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To: TexasFreeper2009
"People Color Lives matter?"

I like that one. In the summer months when I am absorbing Vitamin E on my back deck for COVID protection I become brown. So, brown in the summer, white in the winter. I should get double privileges for that!

10 posted on 07/16/2021 12:58:07 PM PDT by mosaicwolf
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To: gattaca

Bkmk


11 posted on 07/16/2021 3:49:34 PM PDT by sauropod (The smartphone is the retina of the mind's eye.)
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