Hell hath no fury like family who think they should have gotten more money from their dead parent.
Oh yeah. My sister was also the executor and trustee, collecting fees and commissions, coming and going. About six months into it, I had to convince my brother not to take matters into his own hands.
We also found out her husband and son in law were trying to get big “loans” from the 80 plus year old man, the few years before he passed. Thankfully my dad never lost his sanity.
The greed we witnessed for 40 years, mind blowing. The idea of burning it all down in lawyers fees was so tempting.
Old saying in estate planning is you never know your family until you have to share an inheritance with them.
Personally I lucked out on family. My parents would do anything for their kids but we were all responsible, self-sufficient and close. As my parents faced their declining years in their own home, my sister and brother lived close by while I lived 800 miles away. For years my siblings were there for my parents: taking them to doctors, mowing lawns, shoveling sidewalks, bringing them food, doing shopping for them, my sister even moved in with them during the last three years. There was little I could do from a long way away, though I did finance a renovation that moved their washer and dryer from the basement to the main floor and I came for weeks at a time when my sister was medically challenged herself. At any rate, the house was split equally among the three of us and I insisted my siblings take a larger share to compensate for their long service. My sister notified me of their conservative accounting for service and offered to let me examine and question the amounts but I told her I trusted her. The split was made and each got several thousand dollars more than me but I don’t regret it for a moment. I would have felt guilty taking an equal portion.
My parents died within a year of each other and I have a great relationship with my siblings. Fighting over money isn’t worth the loss of good family relationships but I was lucky enough that we were all honest and generous with each other and I never wondered if I was being cheated. We had a great example from my parents who cared for their parents in their declining years.