Posted on 06/17/2021 12:31:46 PM PDT by L.A.Justice
Baltimore, Maryland – U.S. Magistrate Judge J. Mark Coulson today sentenced Michael Haak, age 60, of Longwood, Florida, to one year of probation, after Haak admitted that he committed a lewd, indecent, or obscene act during a flight in which he was pilot in command. At the time of the crime, Haak was employed as a pilot with Southwest Airlines. Magistrate Judge Coulson also ordered Haak to pay a fine in the amount of $5,000.
The guilty plea and sentence were announced by Acting United States Attorney for the District of Maryland Jonathan F. Lenzner and Acting Special Agent in Charge Rachel Byrd of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Baltimore Field Office.
According to Haak’s plea agreement, on August 10, 2020, Haak was the Captain, that is, pilot in command, of a flight traveling from Philadelphia International Airport to Orlando International Airport. Haak was assisted by a female First Officer who Haak had never met prior to that flight.
Haak admitted that, after the aircraft had achieved cruising altitude, Haak got out of the pilot’s seat, and while still in the cockpit of the plane, intentionally disrobed and viewed pornographic media on a laptop computer. As the plane continued its flight, Haak further engaged in inappropriate conduct in the cockpit, as the First Officer continued to perform her duties as an assigned aircrew member.
Acting United States Attorney Jonathan F. Lenzner praised the FBI for its work in the investigation and thanked the Department of Transportation Office of Inspector General and Southwest Airlines for their assistance. Mr. Lenzner thanked Assistant U.S. Attorney P. Michael Cunningham, who prosecuted the case.
“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now beginning our descent into Orlando. I hope you have enjoyed the flight as much as I have“
(Giggle)
Mike Haak...from Longwood. Perhaps he’s met Mike Hunt. :)
CNN will be hiring him soon. Right?
I remember the line from one of the the movie “The Concorde, Airport 1979”
Capt. Joe Patroni: “They don’t call it a cockpit for nothing, sweetie”
One of the greatest scenes ever. I mean ever.
JERRY: Come on. How was your date?
ELAINE: Oh, the date. The date.
JERRY: Ya how was it?
ELAINE: Interesting.
JERRY: Really.
ELAINE: Oh ya.
JERRY: Why what happened?
ELAINE: Let’s see, (thinking) how shall I put this.
JERRY: Just put it.
ELAINE: He took it out.
JERRY: (confused) He what?
ELAINE: He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.
JERRY: He took what out?
ELAINE: It.
JERRY: He took It, Out?
ELAINE: Yessiree Bob.
JERRY: He couldn’t.
ELAINE: He did.
JERRY: (motions of making out) Well you were involved in some sort of amorous...
ELAINE: Noooo.
JERRY: You mean he just
ELAINE: Yes.
JERRY: Are you sure?
ELAINE: Oh quite.
JERRY: There was no mistaking it?
ELAINE: (looks straight into his eyes) Jerry.
JERRY: So you were talking, (Elaine makes an agreement sound “mmm”) you’re having pleasant conversation, (Elaine makes an agreement sound “mmm”) then all of sudden...
ELAINE: Yea.
JERRY: It.
ELAINE: It.
JERRY: Out.
ELAINE: Out.
JERRY: Well I, I can’t believe this. I know Phil, he, he’s a good friend of mine. We play softball together. How could this be?
ELAINE: Oh it be. (sarcastically) You got any other friends you want to set me up with?
(Kramer enters)
KRAMER: Hey. (to Elaine) Hey how was your date with Phil Titola?
ELAINE: (to Kramer) He took it out.
(Shocked, Kramer acts like he just got a cold shiver down his back)
KRAMER: Maybe uh, it needed some air. You know sometimes they need air, they can’t breathe in there. It’s in human.
(Scene Ends)
Oh it be....
The Former Pilot was striving to be the first doing the 'mile high toobin'.
He needed an airstart.
there are no ladies that do that sort of thing...
sluts...whores...maybe...
but regardless, there is something called DIVORCE and if a man doesn't want to be married and be faithful then just get the heck out of dodge....
Gives a new meaning to the term cockpit.
A woman in the cock pit is shocked to see co ck.
Pilot unzips, looks down and says because of you I’m gaining altitude.
what an idiot. WHY would he think this other pilot, male or female, wants to see his junk?
maybe he should take some yoga and throw his pelvis into his face, then.
I was at least hoping for a pic of the First Officer.
Lubin Tobin got a raise.
LOL.
He should try to get a job on Air Force One.
“During this time Haak also “engaged in inappropriate conduct” while a female First Officer, whom he had never met before the flight, continued her flight duties, according to the release.”
Could she have called the company and asked to make an emergency landing? Reason: Captain has gone crazy.
“ WHY would he think this other pilot, male or female, wants to see his junk?”
A very fundamental difference between men and women. Men get excited by the sight of women’s genitalia - that’s not up for debate. So they assume women too would be excited by the sight of men’s genitalia. Nothing could be further from the truth. Just this little knowledge could save millions of d**k pics from being randomly sent to women.
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