My first wife and I divorced right after our only son was born. She descended into postpartum depression and then continued drifting down into more complicated psychiatric issues like schizophrenia and paranoia. She became a different person.
I was devastated and eventually it destroyed our marriage and she filed for divorce after only 5 years of marriage and a one year old child. She got custody of the our son, as was the custom 60 years ago. I was a mess for a couple of years.
But we were both young and inexperienced at the foibles life would present us. She eventually sought treatment for her mental issues and I just learned to get over it and move on.
But one thing we never did was to treat each other badly and always treated each other with respect. I tried to always take the high road and not scheme to get back at her. She seemed to realize that was the best route to take as well.
All these decades later, we still trade Christmas cards, birthday cards and even phone calls occasionally. We have cordial conversations and can laugh a little at our youthful mistakes. There has never been any acrimony or hate between us that I detected. The anger, resentment and disappointment we experienced as young divorcees has dissipated over the years. We are civil and friendly to each other now.
So it is possible to get the short end of the stick and still hold your head up high and not deliberately make matters worse. Our son is well adjusted because his parents treated each other nicely and respectfully and didn't play one against the other with him suffering the consequences in the middle. He tells us both that he recognized that fact and he appreciated our behavior.
Even when you think you are being taken advantage of, it's always best to take the high road and not do something that will escalate the situation and reflect badly on yourself. You will thank yourself down the road.
Good advice…good on you…all of us aren’t that mature…no wonder men aren’t marrying any more…don’t blame them…kids are taken by mom and court…you pay for it…kids still hate you many times…mom enjoys the damage and hurt she has inflicted under the umbrella of law…