Good advice…good on you…all of us aren’t that mature…no wonder men aren’t marrying any more…don’t blame them…kids are taken by mom and court…you pay for it…kids still hate you many times…mom enjoys the damage and hurt she has inflicted under the umbrella of law…
I paid child support for years until my ex-wrote me a letter to tell me she had remarried and didn't need the money anymore. That I could stop the payments and use it myself.
Instead, I opened a savings account for our son and deposited the monthly payments into his account. When he turned 18, I turned the account over to him and he had a sizable grubstake to jump start his adult life with.
Of course, he blew some of the money right off, but I told him if he would save a little every month himself, that I would match his deposits myself. I stopped when he turned 30 but he has always appreciated that arrangement. He says it taught him the habit of saving some of his paycheck every month.
As his father, it was the responsible thing to do. I never regretted taking the high road in that breakup. My conscience was at ease knowing I wasn't being vindictive or punitive when it wasn't necessary.