‘I also control your toaster!”
My last two Pop tarts are in the toaster right now — please have mercy on them!
Moshe the tailor was out front of his shop, reading the paper.
Shlomo walks up, see he’s reading the Daily Sturmer. Big chart in the front about Masons and Jews and praising Hitler. “Moshe!” Shlomo exclaimed. “Why are you reading such garbage? Lies! Read something decent!”
Moshe paused, looked up and responded. “Eh, the real news is so depressing! In this paper, we’re all rich and control the world!”