It’s a terrible, terrible disease.
It’s so terrible that you probably need to go for frequent tests in order to find out if you might have it.
The only thing that can save you are these miraculous vaccines.
And, since you probably don’t want to go near these vaccines, we are prepared to bribe you to take them.
This whole thing is stupid.
“Tell me, surgeon, are these buboes serious? What says the test of your science?”
“My good fellow, the chicken I waved o’re you proclaims you to be plague free! Now, take these leeches under thy tongue, as thou saw thine goodly wife do, and they shalt confer thee immunity for two months.”
“But surgeon, are these leeches really safe? I’ve heard reports of people with healthy buboes taking them who have-“
“Peasant! Art thou a anti-leecher? I will have you know that the great surgeon Claudius Douglas Centurionious hath deemed them safe and efficacious for this use!”
“Oh, well, if you canst trust C.D.C. verily who can thou trust?”
“Good lad! Now take thine leeches, pay mine buxom clerk and remove thee and thine wife from hence with great haste ... so that you may return to sheltering in place in thine hut till someone finds thy corpses.”
“What?”
“I said have a good day.”
The media believes that the only way to convince us how bad this disease is just to show us footage from China and India people falling over dead in the streets from Covid.
Except the footage they used from India was from years before from some toxic gas that was killing people.