5 Questions With Family Studies: Abigail Tucker on the Making of a Mom

Institute for Family Studies ^ | May 6, 2021 | Emma Posey

[Twotone]

We live in a culture that tends to frame childbearing through the lens of loss: a loss of self, sleep, personal space, or brain capacity. A momentary weakness to be overcome as quickly as possible. On the other hand, researchers have noted the disparities between prenatal care and the dearth of understanding regarding the many incredible changes that take place pre/postpartum in a woman’s mind, body, and spirit. Those changes are the subject of a new book by New York Times bestselling author, Abigail Tucker: Mom Genes: Inside the New Science of Our Ancient Maternal Instinct.

Drawing from hard scientific research as well as her own experience as the mother of four thriving children, Mom Genes presents a heartfelt and engaging “Momior” just in time for the celebration of Mother’s Day. I recently had the opportunity to discuss Mom Genes with Tucker, who provides more insights from her research on the “making of a mother.”

Emma Posey: In your book, you discuss the varied biological and neurological changes women undergo in pregnancy and childbirth, and you reflect on the idea that “the most important change in motherhood isn’t about how we look on the outside. It’s about how we see.” How has your perspective changed since becoming a mother, and what are the major differences that occurred that surprised you?

Abigail Tucker: Moms know in our marrow that we are different from our previous selves. In addition to the extremely weird, outwardly obvious stuff that happens to the rest of our bodies— gaining 60 pounds, for starters, or growing hair that is suddenly curly—we undergo a very startling brain change. Whether or not the brain is the most important organ during childbirth, it’s one of the most altered afterward.

[Persevero]

The most magnificent things take a toll. They are worth it.

[chajin]

In addition to the extremely weird, outwardly obvious stuff that happens to the rest of our bodies— gaining 60 pounds, for starters, or growing hair that is suddenly curly—we undergo a very startling brain change.

Any married man knows that the minute he becomes a father, he ceases being a partner. A husband who works on accepting this, married to a wife who works on minimizing it, will together grow into the kind of married couple who travel happily and successfully into old age. Otherwise, the marriage grows increasingly cold, with or without resultant adultery.

[TheWriterTX]

The importance of mothers in the family dynamic cannot be overstated.

Don’t drop your seed anywhere. Choose wisely so your offspring can thrive.

Ladies, wait for the right man. Your child will inherit half of that person’s DNA.

More importantly, studies suggest that cell transfers from mother to child and vice versa are permanent, so they become part of you till you die.