How about:
1. Stomp the crap out of him.
2. Throw all of his shit out in the street.
3. Change the locks.
Back in 1972, my sister worked with a guy in Manhattan who was also a landlord. When a tenant did not pay the rent for several months, he went to stationery store, purchased some fancy looking forms, and “evicted” his deadbeat tenant, throwing his stuff out on the street. The tenant called the cops. The cops asked the tenant if he had a cancelled rent check. The purported tenant said, “I don’t pay rent.” The cop said, it’s a civil matter, the police were not getting involved.
Those were the days.
I like the way you think.
In the movie ‘Pacific Heights’ the nightmare tenant wants the beating. He then takes the landlord to court and sues them for everything they have.