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A Handy Guide To Translating Your Wife's Facial Expressions
The Babylon Bee ^ | April 28, 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/29/2021 7:19:34 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

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To: TheWriterTX
I re-wrote my tagline in the interest of cultivating a milder personality. It kind of chafes.

Happy I could give you a smile tonight.

21 posted on 04/29/2021 8:58:35 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (May their path be strewn with Legos, may they step on them with bare feet until they repent. )
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To: Lurkinanloomin; Secret Agent Man

It depends on the woman, and it depends on you.

I am going on 24 years, and I still marvel at what a great woman I married. We do both work at it.


22 posted on 04/29/2021 9:07:20 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I shall save you the time of going through the looks of the lady and they are all the same.

They are really mean, but mean, “I have what you want and I am in charge if I let you.” Sadly she is correct.


23 posted on 04/29/2021 9:15:20 PM PDT by cpdiii (Texan Coonass Cane Cutter Deckhand Roughneck Geologist Pilot Phamacist. CONSTITUTION TO DIE FOR. )
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To: InsidiousMongo

Women think that telling us to sleep on the couch is some kind if dreaded punishment. To most men, it’s fun, not much different than going camping. :

Shhh! Don’t tell them! >)


24 posted on 04/29/2021 11:48:38 PM PDT by Ancesthntr ("The right to buy weapons is the right to be free." A. E. van Vogt, “The Weapon Shops of Isher”)
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To: dfwgator

Saving for later usage!


25 posted on 04/30/2021 1:35:09 AM PDT by octex (word tag.)
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To: Noumenon
"...When in doubt, deploy chocolate countermeasures..."

Brilliant! I am going to remember that training tip...:)

26 posted on 04/30/2021 3:58:19 AM PDT by rlmorel (Leftists are The Droplet of Sewage in a gallon of ultra-pure clean water.)
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To: InsidiousMongo

Never understood how a man could allow his wife to tell him where to sleep. And vice versa.


27 posted on 04/30/2021 4:39:48 AM PDT by Hazwaste (Socialists are like slinkies. Only good for pushing down stairs.)
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To: Howie66

I get DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID!

NOT FUNNY. We both wear hearing aids, opposing Frequencies, his is Flight Deck, mine is Meniere’s. Left ear no hearing, Right very little. 2 Attacks 2 holes in ear drum. NO REAL WORLD hearing. Ordered a bone conductor headset, hoping for more hearing.

Dumb keyboard is malfunctioning I have no idea how to fix it, he taught the crap. This built in the computer 1 SUCKS.


28 posted on 04/30/2021 6:21:30 AM PDT by GailA (Constitution vs evil Treasonous political Apparatchiks)
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To: Ancesthntr

My sweet wife has never asked me to sleep on the couch. Partly because she knew I wouldn’t do it, and she couldn’t make me.


29 posted on 04/30/2021 7:02:57 AM PDT by HeadOn (Love God. Lead your family. Be a man.)
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To: Hazwaste

Please see post 29, and the third statement in by tagline.


30 posted on 04/30/2021 7:04:43 AM PDT by HeadOn (Love God. Lead your family. Be a man.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Ummmm no. Do not deploy chocolate when she is in the “controlling her blood sugar mode” or actively dieting. That’s when you deploy roses, the more the better. Not sure when she is seriously watching her blood sugar? Is she within one month of her next doctor’s appointment requiring fasting blood work including her A1C?
Do not doubt me on this one guys. I’m a woman, giving you ultra top secret information.
You’re welcome.


31 posted on 04/30/2021 8:56:05 AM PDT by Wiser now (Socialism does not eliminate poverty, it guarantees it.)
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To: HeadOn

Great tagline. Words I’ve lived by all my adult life. And my wife of 33 years appreciates it.


32 posted on 04/30/2021 9:08:41 AM PDT by Hazwaste (Socialists are like slinkies. Only good for pushing down stairs.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I’m keeping a copy of this in my wallet for quick reference.


33 posted on 04/30/2021 9:11:45 AM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: Wiser now
"That’s when you deploy roses, the more the better."

That is one thing (among others of course) that separate the men from the women. For some time now I have been part of a ministry providing privately donated surplus food to people in this "low (relatively) income populous city (majority Latino) , and along with food (and a gospel tract from me) comes flowers. Which has been what the women can covet the most. Not a $11 piece of fish (and actually eggs are often wanted more than that) or anything else you can actually eat, but flowers! We ration the surplus relative to how many come, but flowers are the item in which "one" can mean "two" more than any other item. Beside maybe avocados. But thank God we have any surplus and it does not go to waste.

34 posted on 04/30/2021 7:19:59 PM PDT by daniel1212 (Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned+destitute sinner, trust Him to save + be baptized + follow Him!)
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