Posted on 02/12/2021 3:01:06 AM PST by sodpoodle
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, and is frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them.)
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you -- but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until they speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I just said I was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of emergency, please notify -- " I answered " a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
“Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?”
Because we want to be sure not to see a bunch of old politicians in a swimsuit competition? It’s already bad enough to see them clothed. Quantity is not a direct substitute for quality, especially in politics as it is a corollary to #6 on the list.
Good Stuff!
“The last thing I want to do is hurt you — but it’s still on my list. “
That made me laugh out loud.
Glad you enjoyed it:)
trying to give some joy in these awful times:)
Bigamy is having one too many wives; marriage is the same thing.
Thank you for this smile!
"I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.