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How to care for mom who won't eat or drink and getting more and more confused
vanity ^ | Jan 19 2021 | Beowulf9

Posted on 01/19/2021 7:48:39 PM PST by Beowulf9

Brought my mother who is 94 and has intermittent confusion and a possible fall to my house to care for her. In the past 3 weeks she has eaten and drank less and less. Refusing all sorts of food she used to eat, scrambled eggs or eggs of any kind, ensure which she used to drink and like, yogurt, chicken salad sandwich which she used to like and now refuses any food. She stopped eating altogether and drinks one cup of coffee in the morning and that's about it and that coffee is a half a cup is all. She has good teeth and no problem chewing but stays in bed and sleeps off and on all day saying just I want to sleep. She gets up and goes to the bathroom which is right by her bedside about 6 feet away then back to bed.

I had to bring her dog over, a labrador who stays by her side constantly and who she gives all her food to if I leave the room. When I put him out while attempting to feed her she eats only a very small portion and then asks where is the dog. If I bring him in she commences to give him whatever food I brought in.

Today I called 911, had the ambulance come, she refused them to take her blood pressure or listen to her heart at all. I helped put the leads on for an ekg during which she began hitting me, repeatedly while I did, thankfully it was normal sinus rhythm. She kept telling the ambulance people 'no, I'm not going, go away, I'm not doing it, I'm not going, go away' the entire time they were here.

Because she refused to go to the hospital, and she was not having trouble breathing or having a dangerous heart rhythm they did not take her in.

She desperately needs iv fluids, and I would love it if they would pump some iv nutrition into her but I cannot get her to go to the hospital. I do not have Power of attorney and cannot get it here at home but they would not take her if I did based on the findings of her not being in dire health circumstances.

Anyone have any ideas? How to feed? How to get any nutrition in her? I would appreciate any helpful suggestions.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: dehydration; dementia; mom; starvation
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To: RooRoobird20

Thanks for that info-—God bless her.

.


141 posted on 01/20/2021 10:23:35 AM PST by Mears
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To: Beowulf9

Prayers up for you and your Mother!


142 posted on 01/20/2021 10:53:40 AM PST by Grampa Dave (Law & order took the last train out of DC and Ameriica on election/coup/night, Tues., Nov. 03, 2020!)
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To: Beowulf9

When they stop eating, they want to go. Hope it goes easily for her. Do what you can, but try to avoid guilting her or over-urging. Follow her lead. Sounds like she is in a good place. Most important, is she at peace with the Lord?


143 posted on 01/20/2021 11:27:48 AM PST by Albion Wilde (Laughter separates us from despair and gives us a chance at love. --Craig Ferguson)
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To: Albion Wilde

I have no idea. Probably, but she had dementia and did not even recognize me or my brother and thought she was 22 years old and had to take her father, who is long gone, somewhere.


144 posted on 01/20/2021 1:17:52 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: who_would_fardels_bear
Before considering assisted living or hospice I would ask her if she would be OK with a nurse coming into the home.

If she says NO!, then what?

Instead tell her you met a nice lady while out shopping, and she's new to the area and would love to meet someone to talk to, I think you'd like her. She's pretty lonely would you be so kind as to meet her?

Very hard for her to say no when you push her help button...

A nice lady you've met and somewhat vetted is not as frightening/concerning/worrisome as some random nurse [Ratched].

145 posted on 01/20/2021 1:19:31 PM PST by null and void (Trump is just the appetizer, We the People are the main course.)
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To: 21twelve
Sometimes they need to hear from their children that “It’s okay mom - you can go. We love you and will miss you, but we’ll be okay. You can go.”

That what I told dad.

He had told both mom and I, separately, that he wanted to go home. I had to get clarity on what he meant, it was not back home to mom, but Home.

Soon he was back on a ventilator.

I told him what you told your mom, nearly word for word.

He passed shortly thereafter.

One of the ER nurses said it was the most peaceful passing she'd ever seen. I believe her, he didn't so much die as gently fade away.

WWII, China (shhh...), Korea, Vietnam. It's not just old soldiers who never, die but just fade away, Marines can do it too...

146 posted on 01/20/2021 1:42:45 PM PST by null and void (Trump is just the appetizer, We the People are the main course.)
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To: Beowulf9

Fingers crossed.


147 posted on 01/20/2021 1:46:02 PM PST by null and void (Trump is just the appetizer, We the People are the main course.)
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To: Beowulf9
My experiences with my very aged aunties is that they were more lucid in the mornings, but as the day wore on they began to be increasingly out of it. So if you need to get a power of attorney signed or discuss anything meaningful, don’t try to do it in the late afternoon or evening.

Sundown Syndrome

148 posted on 01/20/2021 1:53:37 PM PST by Albion Wilde (Laughter separates us from despair and gives us a chance at love. --Craig Ferguson)
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To: null and void

Update:

Dr. Called. Labs are pretty normal. Ct of head shows only age related changes. They gave her fluid through IV. They are going to give her some Remeron, a med for depression. Bacteria in urine was what they call ‘colonized’ which means it is there but does not really make for a uti, but they gave her some Rocephin, which they give for that just in case. Her dog Duncan misses her terribly. He’s a black Labrador and deeply attached to her. She will likely come home tomorrow, urine cultures will be back following day but they can prescribe and send something to pharmacy if needed.

I miss her so much. No one has been my friend like my mother, she’s a great mom and I hope she comes back and eats but the doctor says it’s looking more and more like dementia and failure to thrive, which is what happens to some with dementia at the end as many of you sadly have found out losing your loved ones.

Gosh I so appreciate you all sending prayers and thoughts, good wishes for her and ideas. I will act on them and I do hope she comes around.


149 posted on 01/20/2021 5:25:42 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: Beowulf9

Thanks


150 posted on 01/20/2021 5:34:32 PM PST by null and void (Trump is just the appetizer, We the People are the main course.)
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To: Beowulf9

Thanks for posting about your mom. At a later date, please provide an update. I think you have made many friends here!


151 posted on 01/20/2021 10:29:23 PM PST by jasonandtheb
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To: piasa

My Dad loved his Vanilla milkshakes! I’m sorry you lost him. I lost my Dad last January 26th. He could no longer eat due to colon cancer.


152 posted on 01/20/2021 10:51:23 PM PST by Amberdawn (Want To Honor Our Troops? Then Be A Citizen Worth Fighting For.)
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To: Beowulf9

Sounds like your Mom is in good hands. I’ll keep praying for you both.

Are you able to gather some of her belongings and put them in her room for her? Familiarity can be such a comfort.


153 posted on 01/21/2021 6:01:09 AM PST by BykrBayb (Lung cancer free since 11/9/07. Colon cancer free since 7/7/15. Obama free since 1/20/17. PTL ~ Þ )
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To: BykrBayb

I will. I hope she comes home today and is more likely to eat and drink. Gosh I so hope that.


154 posted on 01/21/2021 6:03:27 AM PST by Beowulf9
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To: Beowulf9

I’m sure the IV fluids helped. She’ll be better. (((hugs)))


155 posted on 01/21/2021 6:16:50 AM PST by BykrBayb (Lung cancer free since 11/9/07. Colon cancer free since 7/7/15. Obama free since 1/20/17. PTL ~ Þ )
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To: BykrBayb

❤️


156 posted on 01/21/2021 6:23:08 AM PST by Beowulf9
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To: Beowulf9

Well, got mom home from hospital. Evidently she ate a small amount of dinner at the hospital and half her breakfast this morning. Her x-ray shows she has three compression fractures in her back, and so the doctor gave me a prescription for pain, Oxycodone, very low dose 2.5 mg and also Remeron which is supposed to increase the appetite, and was able to get her to take a pain pill and a Remeron tonight. She is going to sleep right now after visiting with my niece and her husband and child. She looks better, her face is not as drawn, the iv fluid did her good. So glad to have her home and she is in a better frame of mind. When I held her hand (a suggestion from someone here) and told her I love her she told me she loves me ❤️


157 posted on 01/21/2021 7:17:38 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: Beowulf9

Wonderful! So glad you got help!


158 posted on 01/21/2021 7:20:07 PM PST by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: piasa

And I do think all the prayers here helped :) Thank you all :)


159 posted on 01/21/2021 7:21:14 PM PST by Beowulf9
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To: Amberdawn

It’s been almost a year since your Dad moved on, then. Hope you get to toast him with a milkshake and share fond memories.


160 posted on 01/21/2021 7:29:51 PM PST by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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