...but it's Hungarian.
Posted on 12/14/2020 3:26:52 AM PST by sodpoodle
One dark night outside a small town in Saskatchewan , a fire started inside the local sausage plant and in a blink it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments from miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, 'All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant.
They must be saved and I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact.'
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments from surrounding towns had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From a distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.
It was the nearby Melville rural township volunteer fire department composed mainly of Ukrainians over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Ukrainians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Ukrainian old timers jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Melville old-timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful sausage company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave, though elderly, Ukrainian firefighters.
The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, 'What are you going to do with all that money?'
'Vell,' said Nick Sputski, the 70-year-old fire chief,
'.....da furst thing vee gonna do is fix da brakes on dat f***ing truck.'
LMBO!!!
Aging and 2020
The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you!” I whispered back,
“Bring pizza.”
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothe and leave the house.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.
Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.
Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.
Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to
slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So
remember…Don’t sing!
I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my
leg through my underwear without losing my balance.
So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
Cronacoaster Noun: The ups and downs of a pandemic. One day you’re
loving your bubble, doing work outs, baking banana bread and going for
long walks and the next you’re crying, drinking gin for breakfast and
missing people you don’t even like.
I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests
I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead
yet.
I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event.
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in:
“That’s a load of 2020.” or “What in the 2020.” or
“abso-2020-lutely.”
You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then
try to get back up.
We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more
information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
This is the day dogs have been waiting for. They realize their
owners can’t leave the house and they get them 24/7. Dogs are
rejoicing everywhere. Cats are contemplating suicide.
If you are trying to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food truck.
THREE TREES AND A WOODPECKER
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch,
It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
Now wipe that smile off your face.
That’s the old “Oklahoma Firefighters” joke.
That’s the Wurst Kase scenario!
to be Frank, I never sausage execrable puns!
I am such a brat for posting this.
...but it's Hungarian.
Reminds me of what the philospher, Red Green once said in answer to the idea of having an affair - Guys, take off all your clothes and stand in front of a mirror. Then ask yourself, "Am I date ready??"
I just tell people I am "concentrating" myself
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.