Dear friends,
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications
from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to
pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins,
Betty Crocker, Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who
never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much dough on half baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered
a positive role model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough
and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father,
Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff,
Ireland man answered his door to find two grim-faced Constables. We’re sorry,
Mr. O’Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife Maureen. said
one of the officers.
Tell me! Did you find her? Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked.
The constables said, We have some bad news, some good news,
and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?
Fearing the worst, Mr. O’Flynn said, Give me the bad news first.
One constable said, I’m sorry to tell you sir, this morning we found
your poor wife’s body in the bay.
Swallowing hard, he asked, What could possibly be the good news?
The constable continued, When we pulled the late, departed Maureen up,
she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen
clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s,
and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.
Mr. O’Flynn demanded, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?
The constable replied, We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.
Video: Jingle Johns
- I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
- After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
- "ITS A BOY" he shouted. "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down his face he swore he'd never visit another Thai Brothel!
- Sailing results are in, Great Britain took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth.
- A young man asks his Granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?' Granny replies, 'screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?'
- I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
How’s his brother corporate doing.?
LOL. Now I’m hungry.
😁 funny!
Along the lines of that joke, I heard this from my wife yesterday....
I saw once that if you put 2 capfuls of vanilla in a cup and put it a hot oven for an hour, it’ll make your house smell wonderful.
I mis-read the directions as two CUPS of vanilla. My house smelled like the Pillsbury Doughboy’s a$$hole for three days.