Honestly? You remind me of me. I was a christian since I was a kid, and then one day, on a retreat I went to, (what I thought was a "spiritual retreat," I was probably there by accident,) I accepted Jesus Christ.
The Holy Spirit at work. To be called, what a blessing!
There was a Bible by my bed, and I opened it. Suddenly, that "wall of words" came alive. The Breath of God - the Word of God, the Holy Spirit filling me. I wish I felt that moment every second of my life... I became a Christian - and I hadn't really planned to.
My humble suggestion, my brother, is to pray. Don't try to force yourself to read the Word, start with prayer, and think about Christ's gift to us, an unmerited gift we don't deserve. Meditate on what a gift truly is - an unconditional offering that all we need to do is accept. Be open to the Holy Spirit, be willing. The Spirit works on his own time, not ours.
Meditate, pray, wait. There are worse things to do.
God bless you, my friend.
I will heed your advice.
Thank you.
Sounds like a Wonderful Experience you had.