It could be a combination of all of this stuff—sometimes people don’t even know the _real_ reason they do what they do...
Addiction is suicide on the installment plan and in most (successful) treatment venues, there is a concerted effort to help the addict overcome their self-loathing as part of overcoming their self-destructive behaviors.
Yes I agree. We can speculate here and who knows for sure what was conscious and subconscious. He doesn’t seem to be giving interviews these days to clarify things for us.