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Joke of the week
Grouchy Old Cripple ^ | Oct 13, 2020 | Grouchy Old Cripple

Posted on 10/17/2020 10:49:03 AM PDT by upchuck

From my friend Phil.

This is a true, sad story of the depression that can haunt a man.

Brad lived in California and was a lifelong environmentalist. He was sick of the world; of Covid 19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station and started the car.

Two days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Brad from the car. A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: lol; tesla

1 posted on 10/17/2020 10:49:03 AM PDT by upchuck
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To: upchuck

I like the article on Jill Biden, at the same link. I heard from soewehere that Jill is really the one who pushing Joe because she REALLY wants to be First Lady at any cost - this article says it all:

Ronsday – “Call Me Doctor” Jill
October 14, 2020

Ron on Jill Biden.

Sittin here with a buttered bagel and a cuppa mud that’s tellin me I need to change brands, I got to thinkin ‘bout somethin I read a few days ago . . . elder abuse.

Article had links to several pieces on how we’re seeing more attacks on older people by various younger segments of our decaying society. Almost none of the assaults were triggered by anything the victims did, only by what agitators, anarchists, BLM, Antifa, and other thugs encouraged.

As an 80-yr-old myself, there’s no way I could defend myself against a younger, stronger, propagandized snowflake or never-Trumper or black reparationist. I don’t carry weapons when Monsterdawg & I go for our mornin walks, and he’s getting old, too. Prob’ly could do some serious bitin, but not much effective fightin.

But one link had a different take on the issue – Jill Biden . . . No, ‘scuze me – DOCTOR Jill Biden and who it really is who wants Sundowner Joe in the White House.

She knows full well, prob’ly better’n anybody else, just how slow and weak and scatterbrained he is. Camel-La knows it, too . . . it’s what she’s bettin on. Hell, EVERYbody knows it, ‘cept Joe.

Now, since I’m older than Joe and have for years been aware of the decline of my body and my memory, I’m qualified and entitled to call him out on his decrepitude, his hypocrisy, his gaffemeistering, his inability to pursue a thought to its logical conclusion without intensive earbud coaching and/or a teleprompter.

DOCTOR Jill has another year to go before she turns 70, and no doubt she feels she’s still at the top of her game. But this is her last chance to grab the brass ring and get back on the covers of fashion magazines, talk shows, interviews, formal dinners, and into the power-induced world she used to know as Mrs. Veep.

When Joe recognized reality and bowed out of the 2016 race, all the glamour and glitter dried up. There still was money, piles of it, but no real political or social power as she’d become accustomed to.

SHE’s the one who wants to drag his enfeebled sorry ass across the finish-line threshold of 1600 Penn’s Woods Lane. Joe is only vaguely aware of what’s going on. He knows he’s campaigning for something, but only because of embellished residual memories from past campaigns, like some kind of conditioned response.

No decent, caring wife would push a mental cripple into the center ring of a brutal political circus. The only kind of woman who’d do that is a Borgia, a Harris, a Rodham/Clinton, and for her OWN sake, not his.

Joe is the goat, the sacrificial lamb, the placeholder. He dimly senses some sort of reward at the end of the trail, but it’s elusive, ephemeral, blurry, ambiguous . . . like hearing distant cheers from a large crowd but not knowing what they’re cheering or why.

No, Jill does NOT have his best interests in mind . . . only her own. Joe loves the camera, but he really doesn’t remember why. Jill needs that adoration, that fawning, that flattery, that sweet political flatulence the media inundated a shaved silverback fashion disaster with for 8 years while her partner set racial relations back half a century.

Doctor! NOBODY I know with a doctorate in Fine Arts or Education or any other discipline which immediately suggests the holder can’t pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions are on the heel would insist on the title outside the moldy, decaying, ivy-covered walls of left-wing academia.

Hell, gazillions of lawyers hold the J.D. (Juris Doctor) degree. But if they insisted upon being called “Doctor” for it, they’d be laughed out of the courtroom. I have the Master’s Degree in English Lit, but I sure’s hell ain’t gonna go ‘round havin people call me “Master.”

Jill is a gold-digging sadist who’s betting on lies, mail-in vote fraud, and ballot harvesting to install her mentally absent husband behind the Resolute Desk to give her one more golden afternoon atop Olympus before she herself begins that painful slide back down the slope toward political and social oblivion reserved for washed-up wives of vainglorious politicians.


2 posted on 10/17/2020 10:57:29 AM PDT by Qiviut (Fox "News": Unfair, Unbalanced & Unhinged.)
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To: upchuck

Good grief ... let me try again ...

“... I heard from somewhere that Jill is really the one who is pushing Joe ...”


3 posted on 10/17/2020 10:58:51 AM PDT by Qiviut (Fox "News": Unfair, Unbalanced & Unhinged.)
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To: upchuck

Good one. Many years ago when I was an EMT, we were dispatched to a call where a guy pulled into his estranged wife’s driveway and, determined to kill himself, ran a vacuum cleaner hose from the exhaust pipe and through a crack in the window. Fortunately, the heat of the tailpipe melted the hose before any serious harm was done.


4 posted on 10/17/2020 11:01:18 AM PDT by Atticus
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To: Qiviut
I heard from somewhere that Jill is really the one who pushing Joe because she REALLY wants to be First Lady at any cost - this article says it all:

So behind this 'successful' politician, there is a "Desperate Housewife of Wilmington Delaware"! Yep, that will tick some boxes!

5 posted on 10/17/2020 11:05:39 AM PDT by SES1066 (2020, VOTE your principles, VOTE your history, VOTE FOR ALL AMERICANS, VOTE colorblind!)
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To: upchuck

So before reading this I’m gonna guess he has a Tesla.


6 posted on 10/17/2020 11:06:25 AM PDT by BiteYourSelf
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To: Qiviut
Jill Biden 'Hosted" a car parade for Biden......

5 cars showed up!

They never show the actual people who show up!


7 posted on 10/17/2020 11:17:20 AM PDT by caww (...This constant pretending the president is a problem is pure evil!...)
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To: caww

Pathetic ... the turnout & Jill.


8 posted on 10/17/2020 11:18:09 AM PDT by Qiviut (Fox "News": Unfair, Unbalanced & Unhinged.)
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To: Qiviut
Joe and Jill went down the hill...

9 posted on 10/17/2020 11:23:08 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: upchuck
SUICIDE IS PAINLESS ~ MASH
10 posted on 10/17/2020 11:27:45 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: upchuck

Funny....


11 posted on 10/17/2020 11:54:59 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Proud to be a DeplorableAmerican with a Deplorable family...even the dog is, too. :-) Trump 2020t)
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To: caww

“Yeah, okay, ‘Hi!’ ...Now get outtada street!”


12 posted on 10/17/2020 12:06:10 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: upchuck
I wonder if this Is Brad’swife?
13 posted on 10/17/2020 12:07:16 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (Youth, and speed can always be overcome with experience and treachery.)
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To: upchuck

Admiral Boorda committed suicide for far less.


14 posted on 10/17/2020 12:57:32 PM PDT by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (Reverse Wickard v Filburn (1942) - and - ISLAM DELENDA EST)
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To: upchuck

Have you heard of Karl Marx’s sister, Anya Marx?

She invented the starting pistol.


15 posted on 10/17/2020 12:58:48 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: upchuck

He should have kept the Tesla on a charger.


16 posted on 10/17/2020 12:59:04 PM PDT by UnbelievingScumOnTheOtherSide (Reverse Wickard v Filburn (1942) - and - ISLAM DELENDA EST)
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To: upchuck

(Assuming a Republican blowout victory.)

While the MSM wouldn’t dream of running such a story before the election, after the election is another matter, and they might want to boost their ratings with fake news.

“Psychologists Nationwide Are Concerned That Democrats Despondent With The Election Will Commit Mass Suicide!”

“Are The Authorities Hiding The Mass Suicide Epidemic?”

“What Should Concerned Parents Do If Their ANTIFA Or BLM Children Have Become Suicidal?”

The bottom line is the hilarity of the MSM being prodded into doing this, with all the intensity of their Jenkem or Tide Pods hoaxes.


17 posted on 10/17/2020 4:31:13 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("All men and women were created by the, you know, you know, the thing." -- Joe Biden 3/3/20)
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To: upchuck

I was in a nude wedding last week came within an inch of being best man


18 posted on 10/18/2020 9:06:09 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom Hi Dad)
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