****FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD*****

[Colonial35]

Two old cowboys, Will and Bud, sit'n on a fence telling stories and talking rodeo. Will turns to Bud and asks, "Do you think there's bull riding in Heaven?" Bud thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's bull riding in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Will passes on. Soon afterward, Bud sits in on the fence by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Bud... Bud... ." Bud responds, "Will! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Bud," whispers Will's ghost. Bud, still amazed, asks, "So, is there bull riding in Heaven?" "Well," says Will, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Bud. Will says, "Well, there is bull riding in Heaven." Bud says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Will sighs and whispers, I checked the draw and "You're up on Bodacious Friday."

[ShadowAce]

You started early today. I look forward to this thread evry week. Thank you!

[stylin19a]

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little Larry says:
I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

And how about you, Sarah?
I wanna be Larry’s whore

[stylin19a]

I rear-ended a car this morning ... the start of a REALLY bad day!  The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!  He looked up at me and said "I am NOT happy!" So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?" That's how the fight started.

[stylin19a]

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.  She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment." I replied, "Your eyesight's perfect." And then the fight started.

[stylin19a]

Joe and his wife are standing in line at the bank.
The guy in front of them puts on a mask and robs the bank.
The mask falls off, the teller sees his face so robber shoots the teller dead.

Robber puts the mask back on and turns around to Joe and ask: “Did you see my face ?”
Joe replies no and nods towards his wife: “...but she did.”.

[Covenantor]

You’re up on Bodacious Friday.”

Grew up in the Mid-Atlantic area, traveled cross country several times but never made to Texas, nor have I ever been to a rodeo....but I got the puunchline about the notorious Bodacious.

[stylin19a]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido,has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00.
His bookkeeper is deaf.
That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him where it is again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." 
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

[Prince of Space]

Bflr.

[Rusty0604]

😎

[Rusty0604]

lol

[Rusty0604]

ROFL

[Rusty0604]

🤣

[Rusty0604]

😂

[Rusty0604]

😎

[Rusty0604]

😎

[dangus]

Reminds me of when my wife, a public school teacher, was put in charge of fielding threatening phone calls when then-Pres. Obama came to visit the school. Blew my mind, but hey. I kept joking pretending to be her answering the phone, “You don’t have the balls!!!” Sorta became a tag line, even.

YES, SECRET SERVICE! THAT WAS ONLY A JOKE!

[Rusty0604]

ROFL

[Rusty0604]

😎

[dangus]

True story. I lived platonically with a few women when I was younger. I don’t mean to endorse that. Well, one of them came out ready for the town on Friday night. “Whaddaya think?”

“Kinda look like Sporty Spice,” I teased. But she was pleased.

Our more Goth-ish friend was NOT pleased to think they looked like Spice Girls. “What does that make me?”

“Is there a bitchy spice?” And that’s how the fight started. Actually, no, it cracked her up.

[The_Media_never_lie]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the high school?

No, what happened?

They woke the kid up!