Posted on 06/10/2020 2:35:10 PM PDT by FewsOrange
FORT LEE, Virginia – Garrison and area residents are marveling at the specter of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant urinating on the main gate of this post in what is being called “the Civil War’s first live streaming event.”
According to local paranormal investigator Helen “Velma” Martinson, Grant’s ghost began his ethereal number one on the main Fort Lee gate with a shower that lasted over 10 minutes on June 6, the day that the Marine Corps banned Confederate flags. “It was like he’d been holding it for 100 years,” said Martinson. Grant’s ghost has been amazingly vocal. “I got tired of waiting for Army leaders to wake up and smell the hardtack and pick a better name for this place,” he said. “Lee was a complete dick. He fought a rebellion for the right to hold slaves forever. He also stiffed me on a big bar tab in 1865.”
Martinson said Grant wondered why Army leaders could not find another Virginia-born military hero for the base’s name. Fort Lee historian Todd Andrews stated that legitimate heroes of the U.S. Army from Virginia include Grant’s fellow Civil War Union General George H. Thomas; 54th Massachusetts Regiment Medal of Honor recipient William Carney; Desmond Doss, Medal of Honor recipient for Hacksaw Ridge; Darryl “Shifty” Powers of the 101st Airborne Division; and General George C. Marshall, who graduated from the Virginia Military Institute. “That check took about a minute,” Andrews said, “I’m sure the Pentagon could find more if they invested five minutes on it.”
Grant’s ghost asked, “Have Army leaders ever cracked a book besides Gone With the Wind? Fort Lee is right next to Petersburg, where thousands U.S. soldiers under my command died to trying crush Lee’s rebellious nuts.” ” That’s a few thousand good reasons not to name a post after the guy if you ask me.”
The last sighting of Grant’s ghost occurred on June 9, when he was seen pounding Gatorade and Rip It energy drinks.
“I’m filling up to take a giant whiz on Lee Barracks at West Point,” said the specter. “In the afterlife, all his classmates talk about how Lee had a gigantic stick up as ass as a cadet. Don’t get me started.” Grant’s ghost said that he would “fight his urination campaign if it takes all summer,” until all of the Army bases named for Confederate generals are renamed. He also requested a feature on the popular series, Ghost Hunters.
Grant’s ghost asked, “Have Army leaders forgotten tha Fort Lee is right next to Petersburg, where thousands U.S. soldiers under my command died because I was a lousy general? Heck, I showed General Haig how to waste the lives of thousands of young men in senseless human wave attacks against trenches — and does old Hiram ever get credit for the carnage of WWI? Oh, no we have to be reminded over and over again how R.E. Lee was the greatest American general, while I am simply remembered as “The Butcher.”
When was through venting, figuratively and literally, he went back to collecting graft and bribes from lobbyists.
I don’t really get the point of the thread.
To whip up resentment and hostility? Why did you write this, or if it is a blog, why did you post it?
I happen to think highly of both men.
And as an American, I think we should. Don’t see the point here.
Respecting former Confederate heroes was part of reconciliation after the War between the States, or the Civil War, if you prefer.
To be fair, I don't think Grant was personally corrupt. I think he inherited a very corrupt Federal government from Lincoln. Washington DC was corrupt before Lincoln got there, but like that other race obsessed liberal lawyer from Illinois who became President, he massively increased the corruption levels in that city.
Lincoln was a wheeler dealer, and he did not hesitate to use the power of the Presidency to bribe cajole or threaten people into getting people to do what he wanted.
General Grant always regarded General Lee as a gentleman, and much more of an aristocrat than the rather humble beginnings from which General Grant came. And Lee was all around, a much better general than the South deserved.
Grant was actually a pretty good general, and lot of blame should go to his subordinates for what happened in the last phases of the war.
You just went full retard with this post. Never go full retard.
Grant was a drunk. And in case you’re wondering his whiskey of choice was Old Crow.
Little Phil Sheridan, after burning down just about every farm in Virginia, went out west after the war and killed as many Indians and buffalo (food supply) as he possibly could.
The Custis-Lee mansion and farm in Arlington Virginia was turned into Arlington National cemetary.
I will NEVER EVER reconcile with any on the left nor will they. The left pretty much wants America in ruins and those who defy them gone. What is that saying about how divided the country is?
Grant was anything but a lousy General.
1 year after taking full command of the US armies the CSA was no more.
Grant and Lee were friends
Didn’t Grant kill Mexicans ?
Might have during the Mexican War. Lee might have also killed Mexicans during the Mexican War.
Little Phil Sheridan, after burning down just about every farm in Virginia.
A gross exaggeration. He did burn down just about everything in the Shenandoah Valley though. Also killed JEB Stuart and whipped Jubal Early. It was Sheridan’s Cavalry that blocked Lee march at Appomattox.
Now that was funny. I love duffel blog. It is astounding to me that we have a base named after a man who was a traitor to his country, killed a lot of Americans, and was defeated.
Yet Grant, who saved the country from an unconstitutional rebellion, beat General Lee, and was President doesn’t have an Army base named after him.
I say we rename Fort Lee to Fort Grant.
I was wondering what I saw in our back yard the other day. We live 7 miles from the front gate.
And I admire Gen. Grant for his single minded purpose in the execution of war. I like to think I am a student of history, and one of the most common themes is that once people have entered into warfare and it goes on for years, by the end, all anyone wants is a way out and some peace. And often, the shortest way to that peace is through the bloodiest of war.
I have read a bit on Grant, and it is difficult for me not to admire him. He seemed to understand his shortcomings all too well, and kept working at it, knowing he wasn't good at a lot of things. And he was an excellent writer. I enjoyed his memoirs, because I got the flavor of what life was like in that day...when he discussed how much he hated working with mules because of their legendary propensity for stubbornness. But it was this passage that stayed with me about the end of the war where he wrote in his memoirs:
"I felt like anything rather than rejoicing at the downfall of a foe who had fought so long and valiantly, and had suffered so much for a cause, though that cause was, I believe, one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse."
There is something in that quote that I feel a common cause with, the humanity of it. It is clear that Grant was a man who did not hate his enemy. But he did not shirk his duty, but pursued it with all of his might, as terrible as it was. I have always found Grant's aggressiveness very similar to Patton's. It is as if he knew that when he was exhausted, the enemy was often in worse shape, and he was relentless.
Like all leaders in command, he made his mistakes. So did Lee. And so did Patton. And so did every great winning General or Admiral.
Funny. I don't talk much about the Civil War on FR, because people are so passionate about it and I am no expert, that is certain.
I grew up in a military family, so I was exposed to everyone from all over the country, but it wasn't until I joined the military myself and found that for some, the War Between The States was still going on...:) I was born in Virginia and lived all over the place but I was taken aback when a guy from Georgia called me a "Damn Yankee"!!! I never thought I was, but...Hell, I have never been able to discern people's accents because I had been around so many different ones.
When my father retired and we moved to Massachusetts, I ran a good-natured verbal gauntlet for the last two years of High School where I was ribbed on a daily basis about my southern accent...
And here I was...a "Damn Yankee"!
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