Point #1 is stupid. The DOJ is not tasked with defending anyone by itself. It will only get involved in a case that is initiated by someone else. So if Tom Brady has a problem with the way he’s been treated by a state or local government, he should file a lawsuit himself and petition the DOJ for its support and assistance. That’s how these civil rights cases work.
Tom Brady reference was tongue in cheek...but there are others who he could defend.
It's the Civil Rights Division of the FBI you call.