"In the 2nd century AD, the region of present-day Lublin was inhabited by the Vandals. They were driven out by the Goths...after whom came the Heathens who burned the chuches and peed in the drinking wells. Several centuries later, the Hooligans from Ireland overran the region, drank a stange concoction invented by a shopkeeper named Jameson that started soccer riots, and were finally quelled when the Poles invented odd-looking sausages and a clear liquid fermented from the potato peels left over from the cooking of a delicacy known as 'pirogi'."
Ain't history a hoot?