[SoCal Pubbie]

If we have two million deaths from this in this country I’ll eat my hat, record it, and post the video here for all to see. Of course I’ll have to buy a hat first.

[Songcraft]

I'm pretty sure you won't ever have to buy/eat that hat, Pubbie.   You're right, and that quivering snowflake here, with a bad case of the trembling vapors, is majorly wrong.

However, for anyone else reading this who might be developing a hankering to chomp on a hat, I would suggest not wasting a good "Make America Great Again" hat, or a "Keep America Great" hat.   Rather, they should consider going for one of these Biden hats instead.

     

(Of course, as some Dumpofcraps have already found out, Biden hats are completely indigestible, and will give anyone who eats one an overwhelming combination of constipation and diarrhea, coupled with a severe, life-threatening, nose-shattering case of putrefied swamp gas, so I wouldn't recommend that anyone eat one of those either, for any reason.)

But, you're pretty safe there!