Posted on 03/16/2020 10:09:43 AM PDT by Maceman
But given the pending toilet paper famine, I thought we might all benefit from reading the above in considering some of the other available alternatives that have been tried in centuries past.
I sugggest everyone purchase a copy of Atlas Shrugged. A book that length will supply a family of 4 with TP for at least 30 days.
After it’s read, of course. That way, one will obtain a 100% correct prediction of what any progressive excuse for gubmit will do for the next ten years.
Someone suggested we put bumper stickers which say:
“I survived the Great TP Shortage of 2020”
If you have a washing machine you don’t need toilet paper.
I’ve been quoting these Gargantua verses a the last few days on FR and FB. Still up and FB has not rushed me to FB prison.
“’I have’, answered Gargantua, ‘by a long and curious experience found out a means to wipe my bum.
The most lordly, the most excellent, the most convenient that was ever seen. I have wiped my tail with a hen, with a cock, with a pullet, with a calf’s skin, with a hare, with a pigeon, with a cormorant, with an attorney’s bag, with a Montero, with a falconer’s lure. But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all the torcheculs, arsewisps, bumfodders, tail-napkins, bunghole cleansers, and wipe-breeches, there is none in the world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs.
And believe me therein upon mine honour, for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down and of the temporate heat of the goose, which is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the inwards, in so far as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains.’”—Rabelais
Nobody needs or receives those gigantic issues of the Yellow Pages Phone Book anymore. Remember how thick they could be?
That would have been a sure way to make certain that ‘your fingers DO NOT do the walking’.
HERE IN LA THERE IS N O FOOD EITHER. I have bee n making the founds this morning. all of the stores are h=jammed. but there is almost no food. today I bought canned sardines.
Now is not the time for common sense.
At the store yesterday, the toilet paper aisle was wiped (chuckle) clean but so was the cheese. People are choosing constipation as an option.
Have you tried The Stand? Topical and huge. The Plague by Camus is much shorter and way too hard.
That might make a thread: what books to use for TP substitute, and why.
Now that we are approaching the end of the Toilet Paper era...
You have done a good service both to literature and the general edification of the FR readers in these dark days.
Rabelais forgot to mention the air dry method.
As necessity is the mother of invention, underwear must have been developed as a measure keep ones trousers clean and free of skid marks.
A copy of the Koran will work for me.
Someone, somewhere, is now designing a redneck bidet.
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