The only difference was that those were lying JACKASSES!
Posted on 03/06/2020 10:36:34 AM PST by nickcarraway
Troops of monkeys have raided the offices of India's top cabinet ministers and taken over, leaving ministers too scared to make eye-contact with the animals
Punjab and Haryana Civil Secretariat headquarters in Northern India, which is home to cabinet ministers and bureaucrats, has been overrun by opportunist macaques, who are said to climb into offices via balconies.
Meanwhile security guards staged on site say they are being distracted from their work by the red-faced pests but are unable to do shoo them away while at their stations.
Until a solution is found they are reportedly making do with slingshots to protect themselves.
The Indian Express reports: "The Punjab and Haryana Civil Secretariat, which houses the offices of chief ministers of both states, the cabinet ministers and the offices of top bureaucrats, has literally been taken over by monkeys."
Despite attempts to rid the head quarters of the menace, the paper reports the situation has become so bad guards have taken to "avoiding eye contact" or running away to avoid provoking them.
A senior central Industrial Security Force (CISF) official told local media who guard the building said: “The other day, one monkey caught hold of my jacket from behind. I did not turn and kept moving. The monkey went away."
Dogs 'can be infected' with coronavirus and 'could pass it to humans'
Caged monkey brain horror as US federal government 'spend $100m on experiments' An official from Punjab’s administration department told the Indian Express, CISF officers are so desperate they are using homemade slingshots from fallen tree branches.
“We had offered that we can provide them professional slingshots,” said the official added.
A CISF spokesman is now calling on the government to employe full-time monkey catchers, citing concerns over the safety of using slingshots.
He said: “It is not CISF’s duty to shoo away the monkeys. Our duty is to stop any intrusion or any terrorist attack. How can we stop or shoo away monkeys?
"We were asked to use slingshots. But what if the shot hits people? The best solution is monkey catchers. The government should engage monkey catchers."
However local reports say traditional monkey management methods have so far failed and the monkey population is getting out of control.
Confidence in government in the area is up 40%
I am thinking we need to import a few million of these to DC
The monkeys would probably do a better job
The only difference was that those were lying JACKASSES!
CoVid-535 in D.C. See the little crown-like bling on their tiny heads. LOCKDWN. If left unchecked...NO treatment, NO cure. Look at history.
Monkeys are bastards. I’ve worked in a couple of areas where they’re common and they’re smart, motivated, and come at you from all sides. They plan a mass attack and grab everything that isn’t nailed down - they don’t care if you’re holding it or not. Good luck getting it back. I was working in Namibia at a location where the baboons - under an apparently charismatic leader - would make nocturnal raids. It’s pretty unusual because they’re afraid of leopards who typically hunt at night. Anyway, if you set something down it’d be gone. The only good part was when I would put a glove on the end of a stick and reach into the tent of a colleague who was terrified all the time. He finally gave up and took to sleeping in the truck. Oh, well - I didn’t like him anyway.
Obama Carries A Statuette Of Lord Hanuman In His Pocket As A Good Luck Charm
https://www.indiatimes.com/news/world/obama-carries-a-statuette-of-lord-hanuman-in-his-pocket-as-a-good-luck-charm-249505.html
“CISF officers are so desperate they are using homemade slingshots from fallen tree branches.”
Monkey see, monkey do. Watch out for slingshot-wielding macaques.
Hire them in the call centers. Problem solved and you won’t see a quality difference.
Why dont they hire some of those monkey walkers that they use at temples? The natural monkeys behave better when theres a bigger “monkey” present and watching his domain.
Is this related to the attack on the 15 year old in Crown Heights?
This happens when the animals in question no longer fear humans.
Yeah, I thought they meant the primates in D.C.
That’s a lot of junk to carry around in your pockets at any one time. Unless, it was an interview prop.
This is India, after all, where reincarnation takes place.
I clicked on this expecting a report on the US House of Representatives rweacting to the Ilhan&co anti-Americans.
It is easy, 5.56 and problem solved.
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