Posted on 02/22/2020 9:26:03 AM PST by bitt
On Wednesday the Bernie Sanders campaign was disappointed to learn that the nearly $6 million in campaign contributions was donated in Bolivars---Venezuelan currency. When converted to US dollars, the Sanders campaign actually raised only $22.
The press marveled at how, in just 24 hours after Bernie announced his 2020 bid for president, his contributions reached such high totals. “The Bernie Bros are definitely the most passionate bunch in the progressive party,” said political analyst Doug Parson, “but typically they take other people's money, not voluntarily donating their own."
“It was quite the letdown,” said Sanders’ campaign manager Faiz Shakir. “That country hasn’t been doing us a lot of favors lately, but this takes the cake. Technically, we just spent our entire war chest on this morning’s parking,” he fumed.
The Bernie campaign did reach out to Comcast to inquire about how much commercial ad space $6 million in Venezuelan bucks would get them. “Nothing,” said a Comcast official. “But because we’re Bernie fans, we’ll give you a flicker. Remember those subconscious flickers in Flight Club? We’ll give you a few of those”.
At first, Bernie himself seemed unfazed by the news, apparently because he doesn't really know what things cost. “We can probably afford a presidential campaign on $22, right?” he asked his volunteers while waving his arms around. When an intern told Bernie her last Starbucks run cost about that much, Bernie briefly lost consciousness. Upon waking, Bernie softly whispered, “Blast that Howard Schultz”.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Heh, heh. How much is that in rubles?
To whoever donated - We see what you did there.
I knew this was fake news when it said Bernie was disappointed...
This must stop. First it was the Russians and now we find Venezuela trying to affect the outcome of a U.S. Presidential election.
I demand an investigation. We need to know what Bernie is willing to do in return for that huge $22 contribution. My only question is whether a Special Prosecutor should be named.
Cue the Ha ha guy.
Will Bernie Sanders’ long-ago praise of Socialist regimes hurt Democrats in November?
also julian castro is supporting bernie- claims bernie can take the us in the ‘right direction’
Bet bernie is loving this glowing endorsement lol
Better than Confederate dollars; eh Bernie!!
I know this is satire but talk about karmic justice if it was real.
He is lucky they are Japanese Yan
Where can I get some of the Venezuela Money? I would order $100 worth and send it to Bernie.
An even better use for it would be to pass it around at his convention. Show the idiots supporting him what would happen here.
The Democrats and deep state saboteurs will do anything to damage Trump, bring down the economy or create an horrific crisis.
Just look at what they did in Puerto Rico - and got away with!
They pinned the failure to deliver aid on Trump! For two years, supplies were hidden by the corrupt Governor, Mayor of San Juan and others in the cabal while they screamed that Trump didn’t care and couldn’t help them.
We were told, don’t worry, the FBI is investigating. Then for two years NOTHING... until a sole person with a mobile telephone camera opened up one of the 50,000 square foot warehouses full of rotting supplies that were hidden deliberately in an effort to damage Trump.
The people responsible for this stunt - which was against the advice of the CDC - should be held personally accountable and if any deaths result, tried for homicide.
OUTRAGEOUS!
IGNORE ABOVE - Wrong thread.
Pesos for all?
LOL!
Satire?
I think we should lay off Bernie. Today has to be tough for him, being the anniversary of the Miracle on Ice and all.
Or the Mexican Paso.
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