At a dollar subtracted, 90% would end up owing me. All I ask is to get my order within 15 minutes, leave me alone and put the check on the table within 3 minutes of me finishing. Somehow, they can never do that. That’s just one reason I refuse to eat out.
I have better things to do (even if it’s sitting on the couch twiddling my thumbs) than to get dressed, decide on where to eat, drive, find a parking place, find a table, wonder where all the waiter has body piercing and when the last time he washed his hands, waste an hour or two just to get through a meal and all the while someone’s kid is screaming and people think the entire restaurant needs to hear their conversations, paying for a meal I could make muuuuuch better at home and waaaaaaay cheaper and then drive home.
“...At a dollar subtracted, 90% would end up owing me. ...”
Like I said, I joke with the kids about it.
I figure a 5 buck tip is enough if the service isn’t great. Otherwise I do the 18%, or a little more if they’re extra good.