I learned in Denver that you can indeed polish a turd. But you have to freeze it first. There I was, out there picking up dog poop, frozen solid like little casualties at Stalingrad.
Dog turds make great rose bushes.
I had one where we once lived and planted a rose bush from the store, but before I put the bush in the hole I gathered up all the dog turds in the yard and put them in first. It made the biggest rose bush I have ever had, 6 feet tall!, with blossom galore!..............
“I learned in Denver that you can indeed polish a turd.”
They did that in Alaska all the time with moose turds. (Don’t know if they still do.) Cover them with a few coats of varnish or similar and then make tourist trap trinkets with them — jewelry, swizzle stick tops, etc.