I would disagree with your post but...Bottom line is you want to shoot guns that are comfortable and that you can shoot well with, so find your fav and just get practiced. I am willing to bet that the RIGHT .45 for you is out there, and recoil is a function of the achieved muzzle velocity and mass of the bullet fired and the mass of the gun. Any slide cycling reduces the recoil. My 1911 in .45 has no more kick than some of my 9mm handguns.
It’s an easy test. Shoot a 357 and a 45. I’ve done both back to back and you feel the slide weight bouncing off the back and the springs shooting it back forward. That slide is s pretty heavy piece of steel.
There is no Jolt like a .357. That’s me anyway.