You have pointed out the real issue in the argument.
If it a family member (or fellow congregant of my church), then yes I should show “stern compassion” for their condition. That is a true Christian position.
Now, are you compelled by your Faith to go into the ghetto, seek out a homeless drug addict felon and attempt to relieve him of his addictive demons?
I simply answer, “I choose not to associate with the mentally ill for I am not equipped to help them.”
Very interesting post re alcohol, drug use by loved one.
I have a son wrecking and possibly ending his life with booze to the extent that he just walked out of a $220K tech job after three weeks to drink...I think he’s now homeless. I’ve done everything in my power, but with addiction, the power of parents and loved ones is very limited. We didn’t cause it and can’t cure it.
My wonderful physician talked to me about it a couple of weeks ago when I told him I was depressed about my son. He held his large hand right in front of my face and said: “I have three sons, age 13, 11, and 5. In my life, who comes first?”
“Number 1 is me,” pointing to his first very large finger.
“Number 2 is me,” pointing to his second finger
“Number 3 (and I’m expecting he’ll start naming his sons) is me”
“Number 4 is me”
....and
“Number 5 is everyone else. “
The idea is that you cannot take care of anyone properly unless you are on very firm ground within yourself. Tough to do, but you you must or you’ll go crazy too. Alcoholism IS a form of insanity. Or suicide.
All I or anyone else can do is pray, which I do daily. He, of course, is an atheist. Liberal, another form of insanity.
I do go to Alanon, where one of the most important ideas is “I didn’t cause it and can’t cure it.” Hard to let go like that for a. mom who’s always loved her child.
But I’m prepared for his death. I plan to send him a cremation brochure and ask him where he wants his ashes sprinkled. Like to think that will be a wake-up call, but he’ll probably drink about it.