The vast majority are what we used to call "noisemakers" and were never particularly proficient but they were steadfast and I never saw cowards.
There was a last group we would call "fodder" who had no skills or talent at all and never improved, They would stand on skylines, open gates, walk down the middle of trails, talk or smoke during night ambush/Listening post, etc. etc. Standing near them would get you killed.
But where I differ with you is that all three groups could suffer afterward: seeing friends blown up ( or in my case have a best friend captured, then murdered over a two week period) or having to kill somebody close up would affect anyone, even those with strong faith. Faith will help you get through but there is still a path that has to be followed.
You’re right with the up close and personal. I don’t know what I call that. I never really considered that PTSD because to me when they talk about PTSD, it’s a long term thing.
I think about those that didn’t come home, as I’m sure anyone would, but I tend to not dwell so much on that as much as I dwell on not giving up the fight for our rights and freedoms.
You look at any vets, living or gone, and it does a major disservice to the sacrifices that were made volunteering or otherwise that would all be for naught if we don’t keep the fight up.
Essentially, though I’m retired from the infantry, my oath still stands and I feel I owe those who came before to keep carrying the torch in the name of freedom the way God made us to be. So I’m often too busy to dwell too long.
I will say I do get emotional when I see some things, and it reminds me of a certain person or place, but that’s something I think any combat vet will get. We serve together and build bonds stronger than most in life, so the emotions tied to that are stronger as well.
I know to a lot of people, I come across as ornery and a fire brand, it’s in my warrior blood, but it’s because I’m so passionate about freedom, and you can’t talk about freedom without talking about freedom in Christ. I did a lot of that in the army too. Men often wondered how I could do the things I do and believe, so I’d explain the difference of murder and killing. I always felt responsible for those around me too, which led me to take more risks, but that’s how God wired me.
I haven’t changed, just the scenery has. Men like you, me, and many vets on FR and elsewhere have a great responsibility to ensure freedom doesn’t on our watch.