1. St. Peter asks me to spell both my maiden and married names, they are consistently misspelled.
2. Before one gets to St. Peter, one has to read the FAQ Board About Heaven
3. All my dogs will zip out of Heaven and my hubby's arms to greet me, they will have to go thru the gate with me. I'm pretty sure St. Pete has “pet acceptance is very important” as one of the items on his checklist.
4. Unless I get a “waiver of the recital of sins” which might be granted in Purgatory, I will be standing outside the gate for a long, long time. I know there's a big book with everything I ever did written in it. Explanations will be required (unless, of course, I've taken care of those things while sitting in that big stone bathtub in Purgatory, where I will have to sit for a very long time, scrubbing the sins off my soul.)
5. Oh ye of little faith to me means “Got all my religious fundamentals from the nuns in 2nd grade when I was little, they made quite an impression on me!
‘Tis Festival.
The knitting circle will not have you drawn and quartered, THIS time. See ya on the new train...er....thread.