Posted on 04/11/2019 7:26:35 AM PDT by BigKahuna
Does anyone who flies in the U.S. look forward to going through a TSA security line? You could probably make good money in Vegas by putting all your chips on “No.” You can make the TSA security line experience easier on yourself, however, just by taking a few simple steps.
1. Even if you fly only a couple times a year, it’ll be worth it to you to apply for the Transportation Security Administration’s Precheck program. It costs $85, is good for five years and requires an application and background check, but nothing else comes remotely close to getting you through TSA airport security at top speed and with no additional examination.
2. If you travel with a carry-on bag, do whatever you can to make it easy for TSA security officers to see everything in it on their x-ray machines. Cluttered carry-ons almost always lead to a further examination by explosive trace detection machines.
3. Don’t go through a TSA security line wearing a bunch of jewelry. The agency uses metal detectors for the most part to screen travelers, and metals trigger them. The same goes for belts with metal buckles as well as shoes with steel-reinforced soles. Here’s a rule: Travel for comfort, not for the disco.
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I became officially old a few weeks ago.
Guess I am slowing down.
:)
(don’t ask how old “officially old” is — everyone knows).
“I never go through that “hands up, don’t shoot” scanner. My favorite part of going through security is getting felt up by a complete stranger.”
LOL! My wife (”the spousal unit”) calls that thing “The Ferguson Machine.”
I went through it once. Most of the time, I go through the magnetometers. They were also trying out the whole-body visualizing thingy. No thanks! They gave you the option of that or just waiting a minute longer to go through the mags. Sorry, but I don’t need my junk getting eyeballed by complete strangers.
If I want that, I’ll just go to the mall wearing a trenchcoat and nothing else. ;-)
You obviously didn’t see the sign that said,
“ALL JOKES WILL BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!”
;^)
If you’re lucky enough to hit the pre-check jackpot you don’t have to take off your shoes.
Yeah, but it’s still possible to get shunted off to agricultural inspection, which totally sucks. My last flight home from Asia, I was behind a family of 11. Each of them (including the young children) had two 50 lb boxes of food from Vietnam including several coolers of raw fish, and it took me as long to wait to put my luggage containing pre-packaged chocolates on the belt as it usually takes to get through regular customs.
Great advice.
With TSA pre-check, you do not need to remove shoes or jackets, etc.
I fly out of ATL, and having CLEAR here is hugh and series. It gets you to the front of the pre-check line ;-)
Did you tell TSA the little old lady was knitting an Afghan while sitting on an Ottoman?
(Nah, they wouldn’t get that one)
Pre-check = no shoe/ belt/ dress jacket removal. But have empty pockets.
Jackie Mason says he goes to the airport to go thru TSA a few times each day. Doesn't even have a flight.
Mostly to make the public “feel” like something is being done. Determined POS terrorists probably wouldn’t have a huge problem circumventing a lot of this. When we still lived in FL, we travelled a lot and Mrs. rktman flew a lot for work out of Orlando. There was a program called “Clear” that used to be in place there and it sure worked well for us.
I agree about TIME for flying, besides which, when you DRIVE, you can pack completely differently (just throw stuff in the trunk, if you want.... carry whatever food and drinks you want). You can stop and go as it suits your mood and energy level, weather, traffic, etc. And you don’t have to walk a half mile or more from the front door of the airport to the plane and back (not that walking is bad for you).
ATL *shudder*
I can see why any and every advantage would be needed.
I don’t know if you know DFW but Terminal E is the Non-AA Gulag. CLEAR is just about pointless since you have to take the skylink back to the real terminals.
Or just grow a beard and put on a turban and look as Muslim as you possibly can. Then dare them to give you a hassle.
Fly GA when possible.
No TSA - stick your own baggage in the back, and just step up into the cabin. Sit wherever you like.
“You don’t see London or see France until we see your underpants.” — TSA, unofficial
With Global Entry, you go to a kiosk, verify/authenticate yourself, get your printed receipt, hand it to the Customs rep, and exit.
45 seconds.
Never get shunted. That’s my experience.
[ London Heathrow took me 90 minutes in line, however. Worst. Customs. Ever. ]
IIRC, Delta *IS* in Terminal E at DFW.
If you have GOES you’re in Pre check automatically
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