If they ever try to break the glass on me, I hope they know how to catch 00 buckshot, delivered by Mr. Remington 870.
As far as being out of shape my advise is to buy a farm (20 to 40 acres), put down the brew and fire up the chain saw.
Whiskey is for after dark.
(or Scotch as is my preference)
After dark?!?!
What if I close my eyes? :)