Here’s the thing. Most women dislike themselves. They hate the way they look, their face, their hair, their body, their education, their job, their dwelling, their clothes. I mean, everything.
So along comes Mr. Nice guy. He gets smitten and tells her she is smart, fun, beautiful, etc etc. She likes it BRIEFLY. She watches how he seems to be very content with her. So soon, she starts thinking he isn’t very bright because he can’t see how awful she really is. It’s hard to love someone you think isn’t very bright.
So along comes a jerk. He treats her with casual contempt, and seems to barely enjoy being around her. He’ll laugh AT her or put her down at the drop of a hat. She seethes in resentment. BUT, soon she “realizes” he sees her the way she sees herself. Soon she will do anything for her because she respects him for not acting like a clown to impress her. He sees her as she sees herself. It’s like catnip to them.
Sicko, but it fits an astonishing number of the bad relationships you see out there where women dump nice guys and pick up with jerks.
One cannot be in a healthy relationship if one is not comfortable in one's own skin. That's not a "woman thing" or a "man thing", it's a human thing. I suggest that men who abuse are not comfortable in their own skin; the abuse is an attempt to cover up some perceived lack in their own person. A man who is confident in himself doesn't need to crap on other people; a woman who is confident in herself doesn't have to manipulate other people.
I like myself just fine.
Not only that, they are unhappy most of the time. I love my wife with all my heart and soul but she is hard to make happy. A lot of them also seem to love drama.