Today I was in a store named “Sunglasses Only”. A young lady walked over to me and asked, “What brings you in today?” I looked at her and said, “I’m interested in buying a refrigerator.”
When I am asked a question, entering an establishment, I usually respond with a take on their specialty. Restaurant: “How may we help you?” Me: “Do you have any food?” Store (e.g. sunglass shop): “What can we do for you?” Me: “Do you have any sunglasses?” It usually causes them to pause for a moment.
True story.
My father in law passed away. 15 years ago. He had pre-paid and pre-arranged his funeral.
But the funeral director still tried to upsell us. He tried to convince us to buy a better (more expensive) casket. We said no. Said no several times.
He then said; “But this one comes with a lifetime guarantee”.
My poor wife. She knew what was coming. I said...
REALLY? A lifetime guarantee? WHOSE Lifetime?? As you see, Mr. Jones (not his real name) is dead. I’m pretty sure HE will not be making any claims any more. And me? Well, pardner, I can tell you that at no time in 10-20 years from now will I dig up the casket to ascertain if the product is still functioning as guaranteed.”
The poor guy. He was speechless. I was gonna go on, but my wife held me back.
When I was 18 I was working in an antique store when an elderly lady entered and asked me, “Do you sell antiques”?
My answer was, “Why yes, Ma’am. It’s an antique store, Ma’am.”
I was in Rite Aid the other day purchasing a $2.00 bar of candy. The cashier said do you have a credit card? I quickly replied yes but I am paying cash. She didn’t even crack a smile.