Probably old, but they're still funny;) God bless
Had some of those..............
Behind every angry woman is a man that doesn’t know what he did wrong.
OK. Here’s one. This guy Ted was married to Joan for 45 years. Joan died. Five years later Ted was on his deathbed. His priest came to visit him, heard his confession and administered the last rites. Afterwards they chatted a bit and Ted began to nod off. The priest took it as the signal to leave Ted and allow him to sleep. Before he did he patted Ted on the hand and said “ Well Ted, soon you will be joining Joan for all of eternity.” With that Ted’s eyes opened wide and he turns to the priest and says “ Look Father at my wedding I agreed to till death do us part. There was nothing in that vow about eternity.”
OK. Here’s one. This guy Ted was married to Joan for 45 years. Joan died. Five years later Ted was on his deathbed. His priest came to visit him, heard his confession and administered the last rites. Afterwards they chatted a bit and Ted began to nod off. The priest took it as the signal to leave Ted and allow him to sleep. Before he did he patted Ted on the hand and said “ Well Ted, soon you will be joining Joan for all of eternity.” With that Ted’s eyes opened wide and he turns to the priest and says “ Look Father at my wedding I agreed to till death do us part. There was nothing in that vow about eternity.”
(LOL)^10
I must be British. These were great.
Today’s Enigmas courtesy of and a hat tip to Ed.
(1) Isn’t it weird that in America, our flag and our culture offend so many people, but our benefits don’t?
(2) How can the federal government ask U.S. citizens to pay back student loans, when illegal aliens are receiving a free education?
(3) Only in America are legal citizens labeled “racists” and “Nazis,” but illegal aliens are called “Dreamers.”
(4) Liberals say, “If confiscating all guns saves just one life, it’s worth it.” Well then, if deporting all illegals saves just one life, wouldn’t that be worth it?
(5) I can’t quite figure out how you can proudly wave the flag of another country but then you consider it punishment to be sent back there.
(6) The Constitution: It doesn’t need to be rewritten; it needs to be reread.
(7) William F. Buckley said: “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other points of view and are then shocked and offended when they discover there are other points of view.”
(8) Joseph Sobran said: “’Need’ now means wanting someone else’s money ‘Greed’ means wanting to keep your own. ‘Compassion’ is when a politician arranges the transfer.”
(9) Florida has had 119 hurricanes since 1850, but some people still insist the last one was due to climate change.
You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use!
Some say that we should stop killing Ducks to make Duck Tape. And THEY VOTE….SCARY!
Btt