It wasn’t my girls who were idiots, it was the neighborhood kids who stood in other lines when brains were being handed out. . . the kind of kids who thought that wearing a towel attached to their shoulders would indeed allow them to fly when they jumped off a second story roof. . .
Ban towels. Ban roofs.
Banning Jarts showed me, clearly, that America had been taken over by the "safety Nazis", and was doomed. Here we are, now, with helicopter parents and bubble-wrapped snowflake kids wondering how it got so bad.
I can tell you: It got this bad because we let the @$$holes get away with banning Jarts.
It doesn't? Damn!