Posted on 01/06/2019 4:11:04 AM PST by sodpoodle
When you're eighty..............who cares?
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, When you’re eighty..............who cares?
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please." Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”; I said "Nah... She's pretty good lookin'....." When you’re eighty..............who cares?
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right.”; I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”; Cost me a fat lip, but... When you’re eighty..............who cares?
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts. "Really," she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday" Cost me a kick in the nuts, but... When you’re eighty...............who cares?
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in When you’re eighty..............who cares? **********
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?" I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." Cost me 6 more stitches, but... When you’re eighty..............who cares?
Very Good!
Here’s one more:
A 80 year old guy is out fishing.
He sitting in his boat, by himself, when he hears a voice say, “‘Pick me up.”
He looks around and doesn’t see anybody around.
He thinks he is dreaming when he hears the voice say again, “‘Pick me up.”
He looks in the water and there, floating on the top, is a little green frog.
The old man is bewildered. He cant believe his eyes. He says, “Are you talking to me?”
‘Yes”, the frog says, “I’m talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me and I’ll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I’ll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!”
The man looks at the frog for a short time, reached over, picks up the frog carefully, and places it in his front breast pocket.
The frog says, “What, are you nuts? Didn’t you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.”
He opens his pocket, looks at the frog and says, “Nah, at my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”
With age comes wisdom.
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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