Posted on 01/01/2019 12:56:58 PM PST by Theoria
Changing the lyrics from
“We all live in a yellow submarine”
To
“This guy lives in an orange bobber”
Three Wise Men of Chelm
Went to Sea in a barrel
Had the barrel been stronger
My story would be longer.
He’s gonna need beer or dramamine
You’re telling me!
I got stalked by one, once.
Just when I thought he was going to eat me, he goes, “Tag, you’re it.”
That’s not your run-of-the-mill barrel!
*ping*
Were I was raised the land was so flat you could watch your dog run away from home for three days!!
Gonna need a bigger Barrel.
Tilikum.....
That’s the Whale bastard that was stalking me.
My wife and I went to a marine park near Victoria, British Columbia.
Not a huge park.
We were the first ones in the park that morning.
My wife broke immediately for the gift shop, so I thought I’d go look at the Killer Whales.
I walked up to the exhibit and I was the only one there.
There was nothing going on, so I walked over to the water.
They had a three foot tall aluminum fence to keep people from falling into the pool I guess.
I walked around the pool looking down to see where the whales were when I had this feeling that somebody was watching me.
I looked to my right, and there was Mr. Seal Eater looking at me like he hadn’t had breakfast yet.
I did the math in my brain and realized that that big SOB could jump up on the fence and grab me.
I did what all men in my shoes would have done.
I screamed and ran up the nearby bleachers hoping that Killer Whales only knew how to go up ramps and not steps.
I saw his act later.
He was jumping his length out of the water.
Tilikum eventually killed somebody at that park, and they were forced to shut down.
Tilikum was shipped to Orlando where he ended up at Sea World.
Biggest Killer Whale ever, I believe.
He killed a couple more people before he died.
I read that he died and I sent an e-mail to Sea World asking if I could have some sushi from old Tilikum so I could eat him when he wanted to eat me.
They won’t let me in Sea World, now.
When I’m 71 I’ll find other ways to keep myself occupied instead of floating in an orange “dumpster” across the Atlantic for three months.
...aka Bob.
I hear an Irishman tried that too. In a drum of whiskey. He was well preserved.
You deserve a bucket of clams for that one!
I don’t know but I wouldn’t be surprised if it already looks like the inside of a Slimed tire.
As I suspected, it is the Titanic’s of barrels. Total luxury until it isn’t.
So where does he do his business?
Yes, I read the article
“Orcas? Why would orcas attack this plywood barrel?”
Because they have him over a barrel.
If he makes it to Niagara Falls he is set.
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