[Impy]

Merry Christmas everyone! What do you want in your stockings?

"I want Tim Allen to come do my job for me, cause one night a year of work is one too many, amirite?"

"How about a fur coat? I can't believe you make me go out and check the mail in a bikini!"

Real fur? Ouch, pricey.

"This darn skunk has the makings of a fur coat, the price would be right! Better yet we could get this sucker a girlfriend and start us a fur farm, Kim Karkashian wears skunk, it's gonna make a comeback!"

"You insult me cheri, but I'm the only pet in the country with the capability of flushing the toilet!"

"Considering how often you use a the bathroom I wish you'd help clean it once in a while."

"Why bother? We don't even have a bidet! But say I like the part about getting me a woman, how about we get a cat mon amis? I don't date skunkettes, frankly they stink!"

"Transpecies cartoon romance is un-American and icky, BOYCOTT!!!!"

Boycott Christmas?!

"What?! No! I didn't mean boycott Christmas....."

"I agree with this honkey! I'm through with Christmas! Kwanzaa all the way baby!!!"

"Kwanzaa Schmanzwaa! Steve Wonder ain't gonna come down the chimney and give you any presents!"

"Niether is you, cracka! You ain't Santa, everyone knows Santa is a proud Black man!!"

"Cracka!? I'm a robot you idjit!"

"You a White robot!"

"I'm clearly silver!"

"Silver ain't nothin' but fancy shade of white!"

"You're whiter than me you dingbat!!"

"Oh no you didn't! Imp you just gonna allow this honky to use racial epithets against me?!"

"Yarr, 'dingbat' isn't a racial epithet."

"Of course it is, everyone knows dingbats come from Africa!!! Haven't you seen 'Ace Ventura 2'? Coach Omar, my proud Nubian brother, back me up here!"

"Dingbats aren't animals. And the only epithets I've heard are 'honky' and 'cracka'."

"Why you Oreo!!! I guess you ain't getting invited to my Kwanzaa eve party!"

"I'll be in Church anyway, celebrating the birth of my Lord and saviour Jesus Chirst."

"What! He ain't even Black!"

Ahem getting back to Christmas wishes, Captain Smith?

"Yarrrr, I want a Janet!"

"Bleep you dude! Impy can't afford one anyway!"

"Hi there. I'm on sale at Costco."

How about you Mel?

"I'd like a ticket out of the country for a few weeks. I have a feeling the democrats might call on me to pull off some Weekend at Bernies stuff with a certain Bolshevik jurist....."

[Impy]

NFL LIVE THREAD PING

Let me know if you want on/off the list.

Get your picks in if you didn't get them in on the old thread!!

Imp's Saturday Picks, Tennessee and the Superchargers.

[Reno89519]

Time for a weekly patriotic NFL boycott update?

[big'ol_freeper]

[big'ol_freeper]

[Bender2]

Winner this week:

Allegra's Old Earlers--

The Bolts--

Browns--

My Boys, if they can find their balls--

Viqueens--

Big's Pattycheaters--

Big's Cheeseheads--

Allegra's Texicans--

Falcons--

Colts--

Phins--

Da Bears--

my Old Dallas Texans--

Jon's Waiders--

[RedMonqey]

Tennessee over Washington

Los Angeles over Baltimore

Cleveland over Cincinnati

Dallas over Tampa Bay

Minnesota over Detroit

Indianapolis over New York

Miami over Jacksonville

New England over Buffalo

Green Bay over New York

Houston over Philadelphia

Atlanta over Carolina

Los Angeles over Arizona

Chicago over San Francisco

New Orleans over Pittsburgh

Kansas City over Seattle

Oakland over Denver

[ro_dreaming]

Just to make sure the pics are in...


HOUSTON gets off the donut against the city of Brotherly "Love" (no, not San Fransisco, Philly).

The San Diego Chargers of Los Angeles fry the Ravens! (I know, SHOCKER, I'm picking the Bolts, right?)


And the rest of my picks...




Have a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to you all!

[Enterprise]

BBG really wants to know what I want for Christmas? I don’t dare answer.

[bagster]

RDAY, DEC 22, 2018 (All Times Eastern)

Washington at Tennessee 4:30 pm NFLN Nissan Stadium

Baltimore at L.A. Chargers 8:20 pm NFLN StubHub Center

SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2018

Atlanta at Carolina 1:00 pm FOX Bank of America Stadium

Buffalo at New England 1:00 pm CBS Gillette Stadium

Cincinnati at Cleveland 1:00 pm CBS FirstEnergy Stadium

Green Bay at N.Y. Jets 1:00 pm FOX MetLife Stadium

Houston at Philadelphia 1:00 pm CBS Lincoln Financial Field

Jacksonville at Miami 1:00 pm CBS Hard Rock Stadium

Minnesota at Detroit 1:00 pm FOX Ford Field

N.Y. Giants at Indianapolis 1:00 pm CBS Lucas Oil Stadium

Tampa Bay at Dallas 1:00 pm FOX AT&T Stadium

Chicago at San Francisco 4:05 pm FOX Levi's Stadium

L.A. Rams at Arizona 4:05 pm FOX State Farm Stadium

Pittsburgh at New Orleans 4:25 pm CBS Mercedes-Benz Superdome

Kansas City at Seattle 8:20 pm NBC CenturyLink Field

MONDAY, DEC 24, 2018

Denver at Oakland 8:15 pm ESPN Oakland Coliseum

[Nachoman]

The Cowboys see the playoffs on the horizon, and fold like a cheap tent.

[Blue Highway]

[Rummyfan]

Well, missed the Saturday games. The Ravens and Chargers surprised me and the Redskins were true to form. Onward to the rest of the games!

SUNDAY, DEC 23, 2018

Atlanta at Carolina 1:00 pm FOX Bank of America Stadium Two teams playing out the string. The Panthers were once 6 - 2. And the Falcons will miss the playoffs for the first time in how many seasons? No matter. Without Newton the Panthers are claw-less; maybe McCaffrey can play QB? Falcons.

Buffalo at New England 1:00 pm CBS Gillette Stadium Buffalo is playing better of late and NE is on a two-game losing streak. Which I think they turn around today. Patriots.

Cincinnati at Cleveland 1:00 pm CBS FirstEnergy Stadium The surging Browns meet the fading Bungles. The Kid gets another win. Browns.

Green Bay at N.Y. Jets 1:00 pm FOX MetLife Stadium While the Pack is in disarray, I don't think they're dis-arrayed enough to lose to the lowly Jets, in Todd Bowles next-to-last-game as head coach. Packers.

Houston at Philadelphia 1:00 pm CBS Lincoln Financial Field Hard to believe but the Eagles have not been eliminated from the postseason. The Texans bounced back from a loss to the Colts with a win last week. I think they get it done today too, letting the Eagles start planning their golf outings for January. Texans.

Jacksonville at Miami 1:00 pm CBS Hard Rock Stadium Jacksonville.... last season they were an up-and-coming team. This season.... whew. Tom Coughlin has some work to do in the off season, which is only eight days away. Dolphins.

Minnesota at Detroit 1:00 pm FOX Ford Field The Vikings need to win out. They will do so. Matt Patricia's first season in Detroit has been.. inconsistent shall we say? Vikings.

N.Y. Giants at Indianapolis 1:00 pm CBS Lucas Oil Stadium The G-Men looked like they were on the upswing till they laid an egg last week and got shutout. Indy is still in the playoff hunt and Andrew Luck 2.0 looks just as good as the former version. Colts.

Tampa Bay at Dallas 1:00 pm FOX AT&T Stadium Cowboys are also in a win-out situation. And the lowly Bucs are... lowly. Cowboys.

Chicago at San Francisco 4:05 pm FOX Levi's Stadium Yes the Bears are for real. Their D will stymie the Niners all day. Bears.

L.A. Rams at Arizona 4:05 pm FOX State Farm Stadium A hiccup by the Rams last week against the Eagles. But the Cardinals... that's a different story. Rams.

Pittsburgh at New Orleans 4:25 pm CBS Mercedes-Benz Superdome While the Saints have not been putting up forty points a game the last several weeks, they have still been winning. They can lockup the Number 1 seed and get to play all their playoff games in The Dome. The Steelers... lose to the Raiders (?!) and then turn around and beat the Patriots. But against NO in NO? Nah. Saints.

Kansas City at Seattle 8:20 pm NBC CenturyLink Field Seattle has the rushing game to control the clock and keep the KC offense off the field. And it's still no picnic playing in Seattle. Seahawks.

MONDAY, DEC 24, 2018

Denver at Oakland 8:15 pm ESPN Oakland Coliseum A Christmas turkey for Christmas Eve! As inconsistent has Denver has been they will not lose this one. Broncos.

And how about that Army football team!

Merry Christmas to Everyone!

Bendy, get well soon!

And good luck to everyone with their picks!

[editor-surveyor]

.
Should be called “NFL Dead Thread!”