Posted on 12/13/2018 5:09:13 PM PST by super7man
On occasion our kids, when little, received Christmas gifts from Grandparents that our kids were not expecting and frankly had no idea of what to do with it.
A wood box to our 5 year old son, with nothing in it. Just the box. But it had been his Great Grandfather's and Grandma wanted him to have it. Hope dashed, a tear welled up in his eye but he did not cry.
OR the silver Victorian shoe horn that our 6 year old got; it was pretty but she had no idea of how it should be used at Christmas dinner. Oh, and the proud announcement that this was the first item of a 12 piece set that my daughter would receive for the next 11 years.
I realize that it is difficult for Grandparents to know what a nice gift would be for Grandchildren whom they see twice a year and don't really know. And requested gift lists were generally ignored.
So this is what we did. We told our kids that if they received a gift from Grandparents which was not what they had hoped for, after Christmas we would buy that gift for $20. BUT they had to be gracious when receiving the gift. Maybe something was said about "It's the thought....."
They did not have to lie. If the gift was beautiful like a Victorian shoe horn, say so and thank them. If the gift was practical like the socks our son got from Grandma, tell them how you will enjoy using them when you go hiking. All the while, visions of a new GameBoy game danced in their heads.
It solved a lot of problems.
Good, old fashion lead paint.
Perhaps questionable judgment giving precious family heirlooms to children, but perhaps if family history accompanied the gifts they would be more appreciated. Hopefully it would start a conversation about family history, at least by the parents where the kids could hear. So sad when its too late to learn our family history when the elders are gone.
However, today was a Christmas shopping day and we realized that it's a shame that they weren't here when we were younger, I was still working, and we could really afford the costs... /s
This year is tough because all my grandsons have lots guns and ammo (use to be my favorite presents to give).
One daughter and two sons. One son-in-law and two daughters in- law. One grand daughter and three grand sons. Four great grand daughters and one great grand son.
Told the wife that we'll soon be eating dog food... Of course, since she is 80, I'll have to get her the wet canned kind... Maybe I should get her a case of Alpo for Christmas...
I taught my kids to expect crap gifts from the paternal GPs and an aunt, just say TY and move on. We spent a lot of time laughing about them so even bad gifts can give joy and amusing memories.
I only received one gift from my maternal grandparents, a small handmade basket, which I still have and treasure 70 years later. Believe it or not, I never even noticed the lack of gifts until fairly recently because the grandparents gave of themselves rather than material things.
i saw a shirt that says “ people that say “it’s the thought that counts” give lousy gifts!”
I try to give gifts that people would want, not what I may want to give them. and certain older people think other people want their stuff, which may have sentimental value to them, but means nothing to the recipient. alot of stuff gets sold on ebay!
Thanks for your thoughts, Ladyjane.
If I can clarify a bit. First, my son was 5 and did not cry. He was disappointed. He had little concept of the value of heirlooms even if it was just a wooden box. In my daughter’s case, what was given was one piece of a cheap K-Mart grooming set. It was not valuable nor an heirloom.
What we put in place was intended to avoid creating an embarrassment to the Grandparents. It made everybody feel good.
This happened 30 years ago and I guarantee our kids are far from being losers. You have taken one small episode in our family life and drawn a way off the mark global conclusion about us.
Just FYI:
My daughter at 32 is a millionaire and my son at 26 is well on his way to becoming one. They both started with nothing. AND they are nice people. They are grateful. They are kind. They are giving.
I am sorry my post made you sad but I have to think it is not what I said but what is going on in your life that made you sad.
I wish you the best.
Amazon wishlist here for our 5 Grandkids.
I have a chair that my Grandpa made just for me when I was 3 years old. It made me appreciate this story. I look at that little chair and smile.
Somewhere among the family photos my sister keeps is a picture of me aged less than a year lying on my tummy on the dining room table looking at a small plastic horse. This would have been in 1965.
My parents passed in 1999 and 2011. We have finally begun to distribute the contents of their last home.
They and we had lived in six homes in as many states between the first and the last.
Last spring I received a box of what I consider treasures. In late fall, I got the family dining room set moved into my home.
My next step is to find and copy the photo I mentioned earlier.
Years ago, I read a Dear Abbey type column where a grand mother was upset that what ever the gift, the grand kids never sent a thank you or said thank you on the Christmas Day call. Not a peep out of them at Christmas or all year long, for that matter. So she started sending unsigned checks.
In the summer, if my Dad didn’t think I was being particularly productive, he’d hand me over to this Marine to help him haying for the day. Morris always paid me back, not with money, but by coming over with his tractor to plow our driveway when he noticed I couldn’t keep up with the snow. Real heartfelt gifts from a poor farmer with a huge heart.
We take treats and deli turkey to shelter kitties...they are ALWAYS thankful!
No kidding. Those are the simple kindnesses that still bring tears to my eyes.
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