Posted on 12/05/2018 6:18:53 PM PST by Coleus
Its the Christmas season again, which means its time for the annual debate.
Well, actually, its time for several annual debates: Is Happy Holidays a valid greeting, or is it the sign of a Liberal War on Christmas? Is Whams Last Christmas the GOAT of Christmas songs, or is it a cheesy artifact that should have been left in the 1980s with parachute pants and bleached bangs? Now that we survived the discomfort of avoiding political discussions with Uncle Frank at Thanksgiving dinner, do we really have to do it again at Christmas? What should Starbucks put on their cups?
But the one Im thinking about is: Whats with the song Baby, Its Cold Outside anyway? Is it cute and flirtatious, or is a rape culture anthem?
Baby, Its Cold Outside has long been a mainstay of Christmas music. Written in 1944 by Frank Loesser, its first public appearance was in the 1949 film Neptunes Daughter.
Several years ago, I started noticing rumblings against the song. From one perspective, it seems to be making light of date rape. The original sheet music refers to a mouse who is trying to go home and a wolf who wants them to stay. According to his daughters memoir, the songwriter referred to himself as the evil of two Loessers when he and his wife performed it. Because the duet is usually sung with a male wolf and a female mouse, Ill use those pronouns here.
The clearest line with regards to consent is The answer is No. In this era, that is a cue for the man to stop. Some people also mention the line, Whats in this drink?, which seems to suggest that shes been drugged, but I think that thats not consistent with the era the song was written in. We know that Don we now our gay apparel in Deck the Halls is a reference to festive clothing, not to anything gay; Im willing to make a similar judgment here.
Instead, Whats in this drink? is part of the larger case shes setting up: Shes not truly consenting, so if she relents, it was the alcohols fault, not hers. The message seemed clear: Its a song about date rape and pushing at boundaries, and it should be left in the bin of history. Lydia Liza and Josiah Lemanski even rewrote the song in 2016, emphasizing the importance of consent in sexual relationships.Then a second interpretation emerged. Its not about date rape, and all of her complaints are because of social pressures. She wants to stay the night, she wants to experience sexual freedom with this man, but she cant because of how it would look.
Most of the lyrics do support this view. She worries about her family members and her neighbors, and what people would say. Whats in this drink?, in the era, supports this view more than the date rape interpretation. At first, I thought these rebuttals were post hoc apologias meant to overcome cognitive dissonance and redeem a beloved, but flawed, song. But the defenses became clearer and more passionate: Many women see the song as a protest against the sex-shaming of the era. The woman really wants to spend the night, but because of all the social pressures, she cant. Shes litanizing her excuses for the record, so when she acquiesces, At least Im gonna say that I tried.
Okay, that makes sense. That may well have been the original intent of the song.
Except theres at least one complication with this.The first time national audiences heard this song was in the movie Neptunes Daughter, performed as two duets. One is Ricardo Montalbán and Esther Williams, and is presented fairly seriously. Montalbán is the wolf seducing Esther Williamss mouse. Her words say no, but her body says maybe.
The second time is Red Skelton and Betty Garrett, and is presented as humor. Garrett is the wolf, and is clinging to a clearly reluctant (in word and body) Skelton as the mouse. While Montalbán uses proximity and generally respects Williamss physical distance, Garrett repeatedly uses physical force to keep Skelton present. The scene ends with her throwing him down on the couch, his eyes growing wide, and her turning off the light.
This scene, played for comic effect because its a woman attacking a man (and not vice versa), as well as Loessers apparent evil of two Loessers reference, suggest that at least some portion of the culture was aware of the ominous undertone of the song.
Whether you hear it as a woman who wants to spend the night but worries about cultural responses, or as a woman who wants to leave but doesnt think her no will be respected (because it isnt) without appealing to the mans concerns about cultural responses, its clear that the emphasis is not on what she really wants. A nd therein lies the deeper problem. Many women say that they wear rings on their ring finger when going out to clubs because men dont respect a womans no, but they respect another mans property. Ive seen plenty of evidence of men harassing women until they mention their boyfriends.
Culturally speaking, what a woman really wants doesnt matter to a lot of men. Women are judged largely in terms of their compliance with social norms, and that was even truer in the 1940s than it is now.
Completely consistent with the song: She really wants to spend the night.
Completely consistent with the song: She really wants to go home.
Completely consistent with the song: She doesnt really know what she wants.
All three views are completely consistent with the song because, ultimately, it doesnt really matter what she wants.
We do know, however, what it is the man wants. He wants her to stay. Thats clear. Theres not an ounce of vagueness there.
She appeals to what other people will think, but he never does. His argument is about his own feelings (Whats the sense of hurting my pride?). Even the suggestion that she would die of exposure is framed in his feelings (Think of my life long sorrow / if you caught pneumonia and died!).
Like much of Hollywood of the era, his sentiments plant the seeds of what will later become toxic masculinity. I think it is very important to review the contrast shown in Neptunes Daughter: When the wolf is a man, he is gentle and assertive, a gentleman in his seduction. When the wolf is a woman, she is aggressive and needy. Montalbáns performance is consistent with the vision of manhood of the era, where men knew what they wanted and didnt hesitate to press for it, but when men also got close to physical boundaries and didnt cross them.
But this isnt the 1940s. The paternalistic masculinity of John Wayne and Jimmy Stewart, as restrictive as it might have been, has rotted into the toxic hypermasculinity which now poisons much of our culture. We can look at the song through the original filter of the times, but at the same time, its important to hear how some people, particularly women, and particularly sexual assault survivors, hear the song now.
This is why, ultimately, I dont think it ought to be played on radio stations. Certainly someone who wants to listen to it privately can do so, and certainly its a catchy tune thats as easily hummed as sung. If it were musically mediocre, it would be easier to jettison it into the past. But regardless, publicly, it doesnt belong.
My wife once said “The liberals don’t think it’s rape until the woman wakes up the next morning with regrets.”
“Hey, what’s in this drink?” is, I think, a bit of a giveaway.
And I bet the hags who are most offended are beasts who couldn’t get laid during Fleet Week after a year tour at sea.
I’ll take my Christmas without a side of sexualization thank you.
A much older song is “Silent Night.”
But filthy rap lyrics are just fine.
My friends are not Politically Correct.
Winner...winner..winner!!!
If Silent Night is one of your favorites I’m curious what your favorite version is. I love the Carpenters version. Karen’s voice is beautiful, angelic and the music/chorus is beautiful. I listen to A LOT of Christmas music and I can’t think of a better performance.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LhB8JZgVWpU
Silent Night — Bing or Nat King Cole, both do excellent versions
That is a nice version. Another one that comes on the radio around here is the Elvis version. There is a version with a high clear soprano but I don’t know who it is that does it.
Them who?
Here is a nice version :)
I think its a pretty factual song about truths of men and women.
Men know what they want.
Women have no idea what they want. This, that, both, all, nothing. All at the same time.
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