Posted on 10/19/2018 1:04:24 PM PDT by sodpoodle
An elderly Floridian called 911 on his cell phone to report that his car has been broken into. He is hysterical as he explains his situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" he cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm... An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in "Disregard." he says
"He got in the back-seat by mistake."
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood...'
She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!'
'Heck,' said Herman, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
An old couple was driving up I35 north of Dallas when they were pulled over by DPS.
The officer asked the driver if he knew how fast he was going and the old guy replied, “70.”
The old wife said, “What,d he say?” The old man told her.
The officer said, “The limit here is 45.”
The wife asked, “What’d he say?” The old man told her.
The trooper looked at the old man’s license and started chuckling. The old man asked what was funny.
The trooper replied, “You’re from Oklahoma. I had a girl friend from Ardmore. Worst nookie I ever got.”
The old lady ask, “What,d he say?” The husband replied, “He thinks he knows you.”
I laughed but now I cant remember the jokes.
Tell them again please :-)
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